Call You By A Different Name
by vicioux
Summary: He had not expected to defy Aizen. He had not expected to assist the woman's escape. He had not expected to spend more than five minutes at a time alone with Grimmjow and avoid giving in to the urge to kill him. And he had not expected her.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, as I am not Tite Kubo. The Bleach I own keeps my whites white. Hell, I don't even own the above disclaimer (If anyone does, it's Philyra. I would recommend that you check out her very awesome Strictly Dancing series. Seriously, it's that good.) I do, however, own a large cd collection, three very full bookcases, the beaten up laptop I am writing this on, as well as the $15000-$20000 debt I am still accumulating at university. Go me.

Prologue.

It was the woman who started it. Her emotions, her tales of her friends. He had listened against his better judgement, not even realising that he was being drawn further and further into her world. He had begun to chafe under the command of one he had once followed blindly, but he had told himself that he was just restless, as they all were, waiting out the calm before the storm of battle. Except, that wasn't quite it, either. Fourth Espada Ulquiorra Schiffer was slipping. He found himself questioning, more and more, why he did what he did. Why he followed orders. Or rather why, in some cases, he elected not to.

It alarmed him, the way he was becoming more and more like Grimmjow, and Grimmjow himself was only too eager to point it out to him. They met more often now, as the Sexta Espada languished in the care of the human woman, recovering from his fight with the substitute shinigami. That was when Grimmjow finally helped him put a name to what was happening, and told him the unthinkable. It had been an ordinary meeting, bringing the woman her food as usual while she worked on the wounds her friend the substitute shinigami had wrought, when suddenly the Sixth Espada sat up, looked at him suddenly and said the four and a bit words that would change the course of his life.

"You want out, dontcha."

It was a statement, not a question. As the woman sighed and informed Grimmjow that he'd be better off sitting still, the other Espada had an epiphany of sorts.

Grimmjow was absolutely right. He didn't know what it was that he did want, but he knew it wasn't this. He wanted out of Hueco Mundo, out of the mindless subordination, out of what Grimmjow would term 'the whole fucking shebang'. A further thought occurred to him. "So do you." The Sexta Espada grinned at him as the woman finished her work at long last. Dusting off her hands, she stood up, looked both of them in the eye and, for the first time since she had been brought to Hueco Mundo, genuinely smiled.

"So then", she said, "what do we do?"

Their plan was ludicrously simple. He had already been assigned to guard the woman – no – Orihime, during the battle, as Aizen-sama still had plans to keep her. Grimmjow would simply break ranks during the fight to chase after who ever caught his eye, and then slip away to join them. No one was going to question it because that was simply how Grimmjow was. As for him, his loyalty went without saying. Unlike Stark, with his dislike of doing anything other than the obligatory inhalation and exhalation, or wild, unpredictable Grimmjow, he was above suspicion. After all, Aizen-sama saw everything he did through his eyes…

So long as they were open.

What the traitor shinigami didn't see after the Espada apparently went to sleep, was that Grimmjow would come fetch him, lead him to Orihime's room and they would discuss certain points of their escape, Ulquiorra keeping his eyes tightly shut the entire time. They had a plan. They had a bargaining chip, or would have, if all went well. It wouldn't be necessary for Orihime, who would be welcomed back to the Soul Society with open arms, but it would be for them, the Espada, who simply wanted to be allowed to go their own, preferably separate, ways. While he could now tolerate and even understand Grimmjow, Ulquiorra had no intention of embarking on a new life with him in tow. Or worse, in Grimmjow's wake.

And it had been those decisions, those realisations and those plans that brought him to this point, he thought, as he gazed with Orihime over the battle in front of them. All the necessary people were distracted, Aizen with an old man whose reiatsu was almost difficult to bear even from this distance, Tousen with what looked like a large fox, and Gin with an opponent who was somewhere within the ice that had formed over that part of the battlefield. His fellow Espada were similarly occupied. Stark was fighting a man who, from this distance, looked and moved like he could be his twin, while a man with long white hair and a petite dark-haired female who shot kido from her fingertips dealt with his Fraccion, who were, in turn assisted by the strange masked shinigami who had joined Aizen upon the death of Szayel. Barrugan was dealing with a spiky haired behemoth that had something pink attached to his shoulder, and an all-too-familiar orange haired lout was attacking Halibel. And for once, timing his entrance perfectly, Grimmjow arrived quietly. Orihime turned and nodded to him, and the other Espada couldn't help but allow a corner of his mouth to twitch at the grin that accompanied the simple statement –

"Showtime."

They left quickly and quietly, masking their spiritual pressure and keeping to the very edges of the battlefield as they crept their way toward the encampment where Orihime informed them the fourth squad were bound to be working. They were less likely to be attacked immediately, she had reasoned, than if they encountered a raging shinigami on the field who could very easily shoot (or bankai) first, and ask questions later.

And so they continued their escape, passing swiftly through the carnage, willing both hollow and soul reaper to pay them no heed. He knew that, while most soul reapers would stay out of their way, all they needed was a group of ambitious Arrancar who could put two and two together, and realise the obvious - that two Espada who seemed to hate each other, a human girl prisoner and the item they were carrying all headed toward the enemy camp was something someone higher up ought to know about – and they could all be dead. On the other hand, they were so close now, it would be almost ridiculous if –

Grimmjow saw them coming first. Yelling a warning at the sight of the cero heading toward him, it was choked off as the cero made contact – not with him, but with the shield of light that appeared to block it. Stunned, the Fourth Espada turned around to Orihime, who smiled slightly. He drew his sword, as Grimmjow, with a growl, mirrored his move. As one, they attacked, slicing through the group of seven arrancar who had decided they were easy prey proving quickly and painfully that their assumption had been ludicrously off target. Decapitating one, and skewering another he decided to leave Grimmjow to finish them off, turning back to Orihime, only to find another bearing down on her. Before the Arrancar could take another step toward the girl, the Espada had flashed forward to impale him on his blade, only to jump back, as someone else's zanpakto burst through his enemy's chest, copying his move from behind. For a second he stood there, transfixed, before removing his sword as his 'assistant' removed theirs, ready to attack this potential foe.

The body fell away, revealing a tall, curvy woman with a wavy mass of green hair that fell to her waist. She was dressed like a soul reaper, in one of their uniforms, but she had modified it to look like the one he was currently wearing. It was slightly open at the neck, drawing attention to the hole in her throat. Almost unconsciously, he put his hand to the void hidden under his uniform in the same place, she looked at him curiously, and with dawning recognition touched her own hollow. Their eyes stayed locked on one another, until Orihime shifted in the background, drawing the woman's attention and causing her eyes to widen.

"Orihime Inoue, right?" she queried, as Orihime nodded nervously. He voice was gentle, almost childish. The woman only smiled at her, before turning her gaze to the two Espada. "And where were you taking her?" she growled, her grip tightening around the hilt of the zanpakto.

"Home." Ulquiorra replied before he could stop himself, jolted into action not by fear, but something even more alien to him, something he couldn't name. "We were taking her home." He paused.

"We're out, you see", Grimmjow said, stepping in with the explanations, "We're done. We're not taking orders, blows or crap from that lot anymore. We figured that we might need a bargaining chip. Not Orihime though, that's a personal favour. She kinda grew on us. We've gone one better." With that, he pulled a brilliant, multifaceted gem out of his pocket and held it out. The woman's eyes widened once more.

"Is that - "

"It is." The Fourth Espada cut in, and their eyes met once more, a grin spreading across her face.

"Well…" She drawled, "This will be interesting."

And so it was that Ulquiorra Schiffer and Neliel Tu Oderschvank first met, on the field of battle as the fate of three worlds was decided.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

After the second day of their confinement, Ulquiorra Schiffer decided that death was too good for Grimmjow Jeagerjacques.

The two Espada had come to tolerate each other while planning an escape from Hueco Mundo in general and Las Noches in particular, but that did not mean that they were suited to sharing a space for more than an hour at a time. It wasn't that their prison was uncomfortable; by rights it wasn't even a prison, but some ex-lieutenant's quarters. The Soul Society simply didn't know what to do with them. On the one hand, they had been responsible for the deaths of countless shinigami, but on the other, they had provided the soul reapers with the advantage that had won them the battle. Executing them wouldn't be quite right, but neither would simply letting them go. Ulquiorra could appreciate the difficult position he and Grimmjow had put them in, this situation did not bother him. It was the fact that there were not enough rooms for he and Grimmjow to be separate that was slowly, but surely driving him mad.

He tried to suppress a twitch as he heard the other former Espada rummaging or, rather, crashing, around the guarded apartment they occupied, searching for something to do, and went back to imagining ways in which to maim or kill Grimmjow for his inability to sit down and shut up.

"Oi, Ulquiorra, whatcha doin'?"

_Well, that had been short lived._

"I'm considering our situation Grimmjow. In silence. Perhaps you might do the same?" Ulquiorra wasn't usually an optimist, but in this instance he lived in hope.

"Che, what's to consider? We either get executed or they let us go. We can't do fuck all until they decide, but in the mean time I'm bored out of my fucking mind here."

_Trust Grimmjow_, Ulquiorra thought, _to be this ludicrously unsubtle._

"They are not likely to do either."

Yes, it had been worth continuing this conversation in order to see the expression on Grimmjow's face at that last comment.

"What the hell do you mean by that? What the fuck else are they gonna do?"

"Grimmjow, the fact that they are hesitating this long in making a decision indicates that they are not comfortable with either solution. They do not wish to execute those who helped them, but they do not trust us enough to let us just leave and do what we choose. They have learned the hard way that deciding rapidly without considering facts does them no credit and has a way of coming back to haunt them. What they are most likely trying to do is devise a third solution, a middle ground. It could be that we will get to go our own way, but will be limited in what we can do and will remain under guard. They may keep us under semi-house arrest permanently. They may decide that life imprisonment is slightly less harsh than death and all that we deserve."

He paused here, unsure of how to articulate his next thought.

"Or…"

"Or what?"

"Well, think about it. The Gotei 13 are out five captains and two lieutenants. Many soul reapers are going to be promoted, but after this war there are bound to be gaps that need filling. And here we are, tailor-made for the job. I suspect it is possible that we could be placed in a squad under a captain as sort of payment for our part in the war. That, I think, would be the best likely scenario."

He leaned back in his seat and shut his eyes, only to realise that, for the first time since his internment with Grimmjow, the house was in complete silence. Slightly shocked, he opened his eyes to find the blue-haired arrancar staring at him open mouthed.

"Is there a problem Grimmjow? Did I use too many big words?"

The insult jolted him out of his trance.

"Shit no, I get ya. I've just never heard you use that many words before in one go. Does it hurt to do that?"

That question was best met with a biting tone and a cold glare, Ulquiorra decided.

"Of course not. And if it makes you shut up every once in a while you might just have to deal with me talking more often."

"Bitchy today, aren't ya?" Grimmjow muttered, looking thoughtful. "You think that's our best option?"

Ulquiorra sighed. Grimmjow was not unintelligent, but he preferred to have others spell things out for him rather than think for himself.

"Grimmjow, even if they'd let us go, where were you planning on heading off to? I sure as hell didn't know, and you're considerably less able when it comes to the concept of planning. Here is the best place for us now. If you still want to leave, stay and convince them you're relatively trustworthy and they'll be more likely to help you when you go. I for one, think I would prefer it here."

The other Espada smiled ruefully, rubbing the back of his head.

"Ya gotta point there. As far as I can see, this job means beating the crap out of hollows, and that's pretty much what I do anyway, so I'm in. If they even offer, that is." He paused, and a smile flickered across his face. "Overheard our guard talking earlier. Apparently they've already promoted an arrancar to Captain of the 7th, to replace they guy who looked like a fox. Ya know, the one Tousen killed before his old lieutenant got him? Anyway, it's your crush with the green hair."

Ulquiorra suppressed another twitch.

_Death is far too good for him, unless I get to set him alight, watch him burn and then dance in his ashes._

"I do not have a 'crush' as you call it, on anyone. But I'm glad to hear it. This would make it easier for them to accept us if they already are willing to consider our kind."

"The hell you don't. You were staring at her the entire time. Fuck, for a couple of seconds there I even thought I saw an emotion on that pasty mask you call a face."

"I was surprised by her presence. If I watched her, it was only to take her measure as our captor."

_Not for anything else. Certainly not for what he's implying. She caught me off guard, that was all, and it won't happen again._

There were many things Ulquiorra had not expected to happen to him. He had not expected to defy Aizen. He had not expected to assist the woman escape. He had not expected to spend more than five minutes at a time alone with Grimmjow and avoid giving in to the urge to kill him. But he had not expected what he felt when he'd seen _her._

Whatever that was anyway. It was an anomaly and it will be forgotten. It is unlikely I will have much contact with… her in future anyway.

"Che, whatever." Grimmjow interrupted his thoughts. "Did I mention ya girlfriend needs a new lieutenant? You never know, ya could just get lucky in more ways than one!"

"This conversation is over."

"Oh, touched a nerve did I?"

_Death_, thought Ulquiorra Schiffer as he sat back in silence once more, _was far, far too good for Grimmjow Jeagerjacques. _


	3. Chapter 2

**Forgot this last chapter… My bad.**

**Disclaimer: *****disclaims***

Chapter 2

Newly appointed Captain Neliel Tu Oderschvank of the Seventh Division was a woman with a problem, and for once it wasn't just her ludicrous surname.

Though Kami knows I should get that changed. If I have to answer to "Captain Tu Oderschvank" one more time –

"Captain Tu Oderschvank!"

"Yes sir?"

Okay, if someone other than the General calls me that… Oh screw it. I'll just have to teach them all to call me Nel.

"I wish for you to report on the state of your division"

Nel nodded and stood to address the assortment of captains, both the official and unofficial. Ichigo offered her an encouraging smile from across the room, which she returned. It was common knowledge that he was sorting things out in the living world in order to leave and take up captaincy of the Third Division, but even so, his presence was already required.

Squad Three needs his help almost as much as I do right now.

She cleared her throat and began. "Firstly, I would prefer that you called me Nel. It's considerably less of a mouthful and can hardly be considered disrespectful among equals. As for my squad…" Nel trailed off, and turned directly to the Head Captain. "May I speak plainly sir?"

She was going to take the slight inclination of his head as a yes.

"Very well. Captain Komamura's sacrifice on the battlefield put an end to the life of one of the traitors and helped us reclaim the advantage in the final engagement. However, it has also left his division decimated. What remains is a fifth seat who got to that position by being one of the few lucky enough to be left alive over the course of the war, a ninth and tenth seat who are scarcely better off and the majority of the lower seats and unseated officers. That is not to say that they're useless, but they require training that I cannot provide if I am to fill all the gaps in the division." Nel paused here. This was going to be a difficult request to fulfil, but she wouldn't have asked unless she felt it needed doing.

"In short, sir, I need a lieutenant."

The silence in the meeting room that seemed to stretch on forever until the general broke it.

"I understand Nel, if you wish me to call you that - "

"I do."

"Very well. I understand that you would not have asked this unless you had to. You know the position we are in." He turned now to face the rest of the assembled captains. "The reality is that many of you need to make this request. While the promotion of Lieutenants Abarai and Hisagi, as well as the Captaincies given to Urahara, Kurosaki and Nel here have helped us achieve a full thirteen captains, we are now left with lieutenant positions to fill. The promotion of third seats Sentaro and Kotetsu to vice captains of the Ninth and Thirteenth has helped, but we have a further three positions to fill, in the Second, Sixth and Seventh. Which brings me to the second point of this meeting – the three arrancar we currently hold captive."

With dawning comprehension the captains stared at the General, Nel included.

Is he suggesting what I think he's suggesting? The arrancar that were captured…

Against her will, Nel found herself remembering pale skin, dark hair and eyes that were almost too green to be real.

This is ridiculous. I was just relieved that I wasn't going to be the last of my kind. Nothing more than that went through my head.

_Oh yeah, _replied another part of her mind, _I don't see you thinking of the guy with the blue hair all the time, or – _

_Wait, did he say three?_

"As you may or may not be aware, in addition to the two Espada who were captured or, rather, surrendered themselves while returning Orihime Inoue, a third Espada, the former 1st in fact, turned himself over to us on the grounds that, and I quote, 'He couldn't be bothered fighting at the best of times, and he sure as hell wasn't going to for people who had killed his favourite Fraccion'. Apparently Aizen incinerated her in an attempt to spur him into action."

There was a pause as they all took this in, and Nel couldn't help but feel gratitude toward the General for removing one Sosuke Aizen from this particular world.

"As you know, when we worked on contingency plans before the battle, we suggested that arrancar who turned themselves over to us should be given the option of being made part of a squad under the supervision of captains strong enough to control them. While we had intended to leave them as unseated officers, this situation leads me to believe that the former 1st, 4th and 6th Espada would be better suited to the roles of lieutenants in the Sixth, Seventh and Second respectively."

This conclusion was greeted with Captain Soi Fon's terse exclamation of "You're kidding, right? The guy with the electric blue hair in the _Stealth Force?_"

"He's just as noticeable as Omeada was", the General replied.

"Yeah, and the only reason I didn't kill him was that I had no one to replace him with."

"Well, the situation is the same here. This one stays alive Captain Soi Fon, unless you would rather be without a lieutenant?"

"… Fine."

A chuckle was heard coming from Ichigo's end of the table.

"Care to share?" a cranky Soi Fon muttered.

"Just thinking that if Grimmjow's not quite right for the Stealth Force, he sure as hell fits in the Punishment Squad side of things. He's as blood thirsty as Kenpachi."

The Captain they'd mentioned showed the first signs of being attentive in the entire meeting.

"Blood thirsty, huh? He a decent fight?"

Ichigo smiled the smile of a man achieving a long held goal of revenge. "Hell yeah, he'll give you a run for your money, Kenpachi."

Soi Fon brightened up slightly at this. Well, Nel reconsidered, as much as she was ever capable of doing. She looked less inclined to do murder, anyway.

Maybe she figures that with Zaraki on the case she won't need to…

The General chose to ignore this conversation and moved on to Captain Kuchiki.

"And do you have any objections to working with the former 1st Espada Stark?"

"None at all", the noble replied smoothly, "I have, after all, proven that I can take the most unlikely, uncouth subjects and turn them into captain material and a credit to their former division. He should be no problem."

Beside Nel, newly captained Renji Abarai of the Fifth was muttering to himself. "I give up. Is that meant to be an insult to me with a complement to soften it, or the other way around?"

"Well if you can't guess it, I won't be able to", Nel whispered back with a smile. Her mind was racing. If Soi Fon had the one with the blue hair, and Byakuya had the one she hadn't brought in, then that left –

Him.

"Very well. This would then leave the former Fourth Espada, Ulquiorra Schiffer, as lieutenant to the Seventh. Any objections, Captain?"

"Not at all", she blurted out, hoping they'd take her eagerness as a desperate need for a new lieutenant.

"It's settled then. You are dismissed. I will send the message to the captives immediately and you can put them to work tomorrow."

As she filed out with the rest of them, the only coherent thought that Nel could hold onto was a name, as she put a hand to her hollow hole in remembrance.

Ulquiorra Schiffer.


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nooothing!! *breaks down and sobs* Whhhhy??

Chapter Three

As the hell butterfly departed from the open window, Grimmjow started after it in shock, before turning to Ulquiorra.

"Did that thing just tell us what I think it did?"

Ulquiorra stirred in annoyance at the question, before confirming this with a simple, "Yes."

"They have Stark?"

"Yes."

"We're all being made lieutenants?"

"Yes."

"They're not going to kill us?"

"Yes."

"And they'll return our zanpakto?"

This is getting ridiculous.

"No, Grimmjow. They plan on sending us out to fight hollows armed only with bed sheets. Apparently it builds character."

"Okay, but – Wait, what?"

Thank God we're getting out of here. There's only so much of this I can take.

"Yes, we're getting our zanpakto back. Yes, you're being sent to the Second Division. Yes, Stark is in the Sixth. Yes, I'm in the Seventh. If you have any further questions I cannot answer them, as these answers cover the entirety of the information just imparted to us. Anything else weighing on what I hesitate to call 'your mind'?"

I need decent conversation. Or conversation other than his - that would also be acceptable.

"Shit, no need to get bitchy on me. I'm just surprised, is all. Happened just like you thought it would. Sure you're not a fuckin' psychic?"

"No, just capable of basic deductions." Rising from the table, the pale arrancar sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look Grimmjow, it's late, and apparently we have somewhere to be tomorrow. I'm going to sleep. Try not to be so noisy."

As he made his way down the hall, Ulquiorra let his mind drift back to the announcement.

Assigned to her division. First Grimmjow, and now this. I realise that to have become a hollow in the first place I can't have been perfect, but surely I don't deserve all these… annoyances.

Feelings were not something he did well. They never had been, and he was pretty damn sure they never would be. Usually he preferred to do without them as much as possible – they only interfered with his work. Since leaving the Espada, however, he'd found that he was more receptive to such things. It was more than the usual disgruntled irritation that accompanied spending a prolonged period of time with Grimmjow. This feeling was strange, and seemed to centre on the arrancar who was, apparently, now his captain. While one could certainly argue that this contact meant he could explore what was happening to him, Ulquiorra was not interested in this.

I want nothing to do with it. I was created to fight, I am here to serve and this…aberration will not distract me from my task. I have been unoccupied here, and this has lead me to dwell on certain people, almost enhance them in my mind. I will face her tomorrow and she will be nothing but a shadow of what I have envisioned. It will end there – she will be naught but the captain I serve.

He sighed again and ignored the nagging feeling that he was missing something, as he settled down to sleep. At least now he had a name to attach to the face.

Neliel…

_Tomorrow will be interesting. _

xXx

She's late.

It had been two hours since he had been before the Captain-Commander, swearing an oath of loyalty, being given a new uniform and having his zanpakto returned. It was a comfort to have Murcielago at his side again, he would admit, and it was worth sitting through the hour-long lecture about what they would and wouldn't be allowed now that they were a part of the Gotei 13. It was there that he had been lead out by the startled looking young woman who informed him that she was the fifth seat of Ulquiorra's division, and brought here, left with the message that "The Captain will see you as soon as she can." This was all well and good, but that had been over half an hour ago, and she showed no sign of coming to join him any time soon.

That was when he decided to have a look around. Curiosity wasn't a particular trait of his; it was more Grimmjow's domain, Ulquiorra thought with a smirk, recalling his companion's release form. All the same, anything was better than waiting around for some infuriating creature who had clearly decided she had better things to do. Her office was nice, he had to admit - open and airy with vases of bright flowers on whatever stable flat surfaces were available. These were apparently few and far between, as stacks of paperwork took up most of the room, all of it clearly incomplete.

Ulquiorra frowned. He thought back to what little conversation he had with the Fifth Seat, who had informed the arrancar that until his arrival, aside from the Captain herself, _she _had been the next in rank. This made no sense on a variety of levels, most of them numerical, but when tallied with the half empty barracks he had passed on his way in and the spread of neglected paperwork before him it gave a pretty clear idea of how this division had emerged from the war.

It's a miracle that they even considered having an arrancar as their captain. I know nothing of her origins, but she clearly didn't play the sort of part in the war that I did. They will not care for my presence here and yet they obviously need my help.

He looked over her desk, or at least what wasn't covered in paperwork, and spotted a booklet that seemed to provide instruction on how to complete the myriad of forms that being a shinigami seemed to generate.

Of course, she's new to this as well. In any case, it cannot hurt to at least sort through what must be done…

xXx

The last thing Nel had expected to be greeted with when she returned to her office was the sight of her new lieutenant sorting through the paperwork that littered her floor, a thoughtful frown on his face and the guide to filing in his free hand.

Clearing her throat, she saw him briefly tense up, only to relax so smoothly as he turned to face her that she wasn't sure if she'd even seen him tense in the first place.

Now that's control. And… shit.

On the battlefield when she had first seen him, he'd been ludicrously good looking. Here, in her office, cleaned up and dressed entirely in black, he was breathtaking. Tall and slender, while still maintaining an aura of strength, his skin was so pale it seemed to be pure white, contrasting with his slightly tousled pitch black hair and incredibly vivid green eyes. This vision was only enhanced by the fact that it looked like he intended to do her paperwork.

_I've walked into a dream. It even looks like he worked out what form 12-36B does. _

"Hello Captain Tu Oderschvank."

Right. Speaking. I remember how to do that.

"Just Nel, please. I insist." She replied, with what she hoped was a winning smile.

"That can hardly be considered respectful. "

"Trust me, if your surname was anything like mine, you'd go out of your way to avoid hearing it too. If Nel is good enough for the Captain-Commander, it's good enough for everyone. Consider yourself to be respectfully bowing to my wishes."

"How about a compromise? I refuse to refer to my superior officer by a nickname so… Neliel, is it?"

This wasn't quite going how she had planned. "Everyone else is fine with Nel."

He raised an eyebrow and replied, "Well then, I'm not everyone else, am I?"

Sensing this was not a battle she'd win, Nel decided to change tactics.

"Suit yourself. So, did you decide to get started on the paperwork already?"

He shrugged. "It seemed necessary, and…" He paused there, before continuing, "Just how badly did this division do during the war?"

_Oh boy, where to start._ "How much did you know about Kaname Tousen?"

"Next to nothing. I avoided him when I could. Grimmjow knows him from an incident with a severed arm."

"Charming. Well, Captain Komamura, the previous captain was a close friend of his back when he was Captain Tousen. He even looked up to him a little. After the betrayal, he was determined to bring Tousen back to where he belonged, to make him see sense. They met in battle a few times, and each time it became more and more obvious that Tousen would not be swayed, until finally the captain gave up and started trying to kill him instead. In the final battle he lead most of the division in what was essentially a suicide mission. He didn't kill Tousen, but he did weaken him so that someone else could, and he gave us an advantage when we desperately needed it. Unfortunately, we lost him, his lieutenant and about half of the seated and unseated officers. The General had done what he can to give us more than our share of recruits, but we were not the only division who were decimated by the war."

She sighed, and leaned back against her desk gingerly, trying not to disturb the paperwork. Ulquiorra pondered what she'd said, and asked, "But you're an arrancar. Surely they would have fought against your captaincy, unless they felt that you were acceptable since you had not been created by Aizen."

She smiled wryly. "Ah, but I was."

"What? Surely I would have seen you before this."

"Depends. When was Halibel made Third Espada?"

"Before I was created. Are you trying to tell me that you were once the Third Espada?"

"I'm saying I have a giant number three tattooed on my back for a reason. But I was out before the war began. An… Incident with Nnoitra. Ichigo found me. My mask was damaged, and I was in child form until I saw a healer. I've fought for the Soul Society since."

"I see."

The silence stretched between them fairly comfortably until he broke it, looking thoughtful.

"As your lieutenant, what exactly do my duties entail? They've been awfully clear on what I can and cannot do, but less clear on what it is I actually should be doing."

"Oh." The sudden topic change caught her off-guard. "Well, the paperwork is one thing. Working on the budget would also fall into that category. At this point in time all of our officers need training before we can even think about assigning seats. All the divisions have their share of living world missions and guard duties to roster and complete as well, and that also falls to us. Other than that, there are also weekly lieutenant meetings to attend, just to stay informed. Most of it's been getting done, but the paperwork…" she waved her hand toward the many piles. "Something had to give, and I wasn't about to make it my sanity."

His lips twitched almost imperceptibly into a smile that vanished instantly. "Of course Neliel. In any case, that makes things easier. Might I suggest that I spend the first week or two working with the administrative matters? Just so the division may become used to me. They may be able to handle having one arrancar in charge, but I suspect they'll need to be eased into two."

He was good looking, intelligent, perceptive and he wanted to do her paperwork. This had to be a dream.

"Sounds fine to me. I will eventually need you to work with the squad, but for now I think your idea should hold. I'll continue training them, and patrolling with them, and I'll join you to work on the roster and budget. Now, have they shown you to your quarters yet?"

"Not yet Neliel."

"I still think you should call me Nel."

"And you are welcome to think that. I however - "

The sudden flaring of two powerful reiatsus drew their attention. Nel frowned.

"That's Ichigo. And whoever's with him - "

"It's Grimmjow."

"Should we be worried? His reiatsu seems, well, bloodthirsty."

"It's normally like that. Neither of them feel upset so, as strange as it is, I think this is their way of saying hello."

Nel turned to him in disbelief. "You're kidding."

"I wish I was. But I think it's safe to leave them to their own devices."

Suddenly, the two war cries members of the Seireitei prayed not to hear rang out, one a brutal bellow, and the other a sweet child's voice - "YAY! Ken-Chan's found a new friend!" A third reiatsu flared with Ichigo and Grimmjow.

Neliel was looking very pale, Ulquiorra decided.

"Ulquiorra, what do you know about Kenpachi Zaraki?"

Oh dear. "Enough. That's him, I take it?"

"Yep."

The two former Espada looked at one another, and said what every member of the Gotei 13 was thinking at that point.

"Oh shit."


	5. Chapter 4

So there's been issues with the whole 'using italics for a character's thoughts' thing, as it only seems to come out properly half the time and I don't know how to fix it.

**Sigh. **

**Anyway, I'm going to try using bold instead, since it seems to work a little better. Oh well, on with the show! And remember, reviews = love. Y'all wouldn't want me to feel unloved now, would you? **

**Listening to: Laura Imbruglia – 'Looking for a Rabbit'. I blame that for the insanity that is this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Do I look like Tite Kubo to you? On second thoughts, don't answer that, it'll just depress me. **

Chapter 4

As they raced across rooftops toward the sizable disturbance that was Grimmjow, Ichigo and Kenpachi 'saying hello', Ulquiorra was all too aware that he'd been mad to think the feeling would go away if he were confronted with its source again. She'd been attractive enough covered in the grime of the battlefield, and now, as she leapt from place to place in time with his own steps, she was radiantly beautiful.

Her masses of wavy green hair streamed behind her like a banner as she moved swiftly on legs that didn't seem to end. Her captain's haori, which she had modified to look like an arrancar uniform, emphasised her generous curves and the tiny waist, that gave her an almost delicate appearance. The pink streaks tattooed across her face should have looked ridiculous, but only served to throw her high cheekbones and pale skin into relief and as for her eyes… That was the worst part, he decided. Those deep grey eyes were almost luminous as her emotions passed through them. They seemed to hypnotise him.

**I need help. She should not do this to me, for so many reasons. She is my captain, I barely know her, and more to the point, this is not me. I do not get like this. I **_**never**_** get like this. What makes her so damn special? **

A fairly large explosion in the direction they were headed in snapped him out of his reverie, as they finally descended from the rooftops into the fray.

They were not alone.

It appeared that the majority of the Gotei 13 were now watching the show or, rather, the parts of the show that could be made out through the plaster dust of fallen buildings. Nel gazed around at her surroundings in shock before asking, "Isn't anyone going to do anything?"

She was answered by what had been someone's desk flying out of the destructive cloud and burying itself in the wall next to her. Next to where she had landed, Captain Jyuushiro Ukitake looked from her to the firmly embedded desk, and back again, saying what the crowd were thinking.

"Be my guest. We'll call the Fourth for you."

"No one's even called them yet? It's Ichigo against Grimmjow and Kenpachi!"

"Well, it's sort of hard to miss this much spiritual power", the white haired captain replied, "especially with Kenpachi involved, so they're bound to be on their way already. Besides, Grimmjow and Kenpachi are attacking each other just as much as they're attacking Ichigo. It seems to be less two against one and more of a violent free for all."

"I'm sorry, that's supposed to comfort me?"

She was concerned for Kurosaki, Ulquiorra realised. He felt a sudden urge to help Grimmjow beat up the human-hollow hybrid. He wasn't sure which was worse, the impulse to give in to an annoyance, or the impulse to actually assist Grimmjow in any way, shape or form. Ignoring this, he spoke up.

"If you wish, Neliel, I will go and ensure the Fourth are on their way."

The smile she aimed his way was far too… everything.

"I told you, it's Nel." She admonished him playfully.

He raised an eyebrow. "Is that so, Captain Tu Oderschvank?"

She laughed. "Ok, you win. And yes, please go and make sure Captain Unohana is coming. She's the only one who can vaguely control Kenpachi. Or, at the very least, temporarily subdue him."

"But of course…" he paused, "…Neliel."

He turned, and swiftly disappeared.

I swear, that was a smile on his face. A smug one, but still…

She smiled, staring after him, before shaking her head and turning back to the disturbance. As she watched intently for signs that all the participants were still moving, a pair of hands slid over her eyes as a familiar voice whispered in her ear and asked her, "Guess who?"

Nel giggled. "Quit it, Ran. I'm trying to see if they're all still alive in there."

Rangiku released her and grinned. "They'll be fine. Your new lieutenant will get Unohana and she'll sort them out. Speaking of your lieutenant, I could have sworn I saw you flirting just there."

Nel rolled her eyes and smacked her on the shoulder. "You see flirting everywhere. You need help."

"Ok, so maybe that's a little true. Doesn't mean I'm not usually right though, does it? C'mon, you think he's cute, admit it."

"Ran?"

"Yes Nel?"

"Shut up."

She laughed. "Oh dear Nel, denial is a terrible thing."

Nel sighed. "Look, it's our first day as captain and lieutenant. I barely know him."

"Uh huh, but you like him, don't you? And glaring at me doesn't count as an answer."

"I don't like him, I only just met him!"

"But…"

"Fine. I find him attractive. A little. Now will you shut up about it?"

"Ha! I knew it! Awww, you two would be so cute together!"

"Remind me why we're friends again?"

"My sparkling personality? My wit? My charm? My ability to understand the pain of having breasts the size of the average person's head?"

They both descended into giggles, Nel gasping out, "The last one. Definitely the last one."

"I knew it. You feel my pain too."

"Hey, did it just get a lot colder, or is that just me?"

Rangiku looked a little guilty and very panicked. "I may have promised to stay in the office and actually do paperwork today."

"Really?"

"My captain held my sake supply hostage, and I don't get paid until next week. I can't afford more."

"That explains it. Well, get over there before he decides to destroy your sake bottles."

"He wouldn't do that to my babies, would he?"

The two women looked at each other.

"Well, shit." With a burst of flash, Rangiku disappeared.

Still giggling a little, Nel turned back to the fight, until another explosion echoed through the Seireitei.

Where the hell are the Fourth? Aside from the building damage, those idiots are going to kill each other if someone doesn't stop them.

Not a moment too soon, a familiar giant manta ray swooped down and sucked in the contents of the battlefield, plaster dust and all, before settling down beside Captain Unohana and Ulquiorra, who stepped forward to return to Nel's side. From the sounds of things, the battle was continuing inside the belly of Unohana's shikai. Minazuki looked uncomfortable, Nel decided. Well, uncomfortable for a largely expressionless giant sea creature, anyway. In the meantime –

"Move Strawberry, your foot's in my freaken face."

"Fuck off Grimmjow, as if I want my foot anywhere near that piece of shit you call a face. There's no room, Kenpachi's too big."

"That's what she said."

"And fuck you Kenpachi, that's the last time I teach you a joke from the human world. What the fuck were you thinking, anyway, muscling in on _my_ fight?"

"It's a free Seireitei. 'Sides, you said the cat was a good fight."

"Oh, now that was smart, wasn't it Strawberry? Set Kenpachi on me. There's no way that could possibly backfire, now, is there? Morons. I'm trapped in a fucking whale with the two biggest fuckwits in three worlds."

"It's a ray, Grimmjow, not a whale. Whose the fuckwit now?"

"Still you Ichigo. Grimmjow has a point and who gives a shit what fucking sea creature it is?"

Unohana had clearly decided she'd heard enough.

"GENTLEMEN!"

For the first time since they'd been swallowed, there was complete silence and stillness in the ray.

"Good. Now, if you damage my shikai, I will be exceptionally displeased. It is clear that this is all a misunderstanding born of high spirits, so I will suggest that you all agree to cease and desist. Is that clear?"

It was not a request.

Almost in unison, Ichigo and Grimmjow replied with a hurried yes, but there was still silence from the third.

"Kenpachi?"

"Damn it, woman, that was a good fight. Why'd you have to go fuck it up for us?"

Unohana smiled. "Tell you what, if you leave off this one today, I'll fight you tomorrow."

That had his attention. "What, you? What the fuck would you know about fighting?"

"I became captain somehow. Besides, other than you and your lieutenant, who else are your men afraid of?"

There was a pause. "You, I guess."

"Don't you want to find out why?"

You could almost here the savage grin when he replied, "You're on."

Unohana smiled, and motioned for Minazuki to follow her. "Excellent. We'll discuss details back at my division after the three of you are healed. Now, where is your lieutenant, Kenpachi? I didn't see her fighting."

The girl in question suddenly popped up behind Nel, Yumichika in tow. She had grown considerably during the war, and now appeared more like a teenager than a child, but was still very much the same in every other respect. "Here, backwards braid lady. Dontcha think it's great that Ken-chan and Grimmjow are compatible? I think they'd be a good couple."

The silence that followed this pronouncement was only broken occasionally by fiercely suppressed giggles that Ulquiorra suspected came from his captain. He decided that this was worth looking into further.

"Excuse me lieutenant, but what makes you say they're compatible in the first place?"

"Emo kid, it's obvious. They both like the same things – blood, fighting and beating up Ichigo. They're perfect for each other."

There was a distinct growling coming from Minazuki's belly now. Ulquiorra chose to ignore this, and his new nick-name, and attempted to continue his quest for information.

"I…see. Where did you learn about compatibility? And what makes you say they'd be a good couple?"

"I read it in one of big boobs human's books. Yumichika explained it to me after. He said that all good couples are compatible!"

All eyes turned toward the fifth seat, who turned to Minazuki. "I know, I know. You are preparing a most un-beautiful death for me as soon as you return from the Fourth division. I get it."

"And after Kenpachi's done, it's my turn", muttered Grimmjow, "but in the meantime, let's move. I want out of this fucking whale."

"Ray."

"Ichigo, do I look like I give a shit?"

"Hell if I know. It's a little dark in here, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Fine. Do I sound like I give a shit?"

Staring after the motley band as they headed off to the Fourth Division, Ulquiorra waited until his captain had gotten herself under control before asking the question that had been bothering him for the last fifteen minutes.

"Neliel?"

"Yes?"

"Is it always like this?"

She thought about this for a while. "Well, usually Grimmjow's not involved. Or did you mean in general? Because things are usually pretty interesting around here. It's part of what makes this place fun!"

"… I see."

She smiled at the stoic arrancar as he tried to take this information in. "Ulquiorra? It's a little odd here at first, but you come to love it. I never thought when I got here that this would be home, but now I can't imagine being anywhere else."

"Well Neliel, I'm sure that anything my captain approves of is good enough for me."

"Damn straight", she grinned, "and now to return to the office. I want to get enough done so that we can have a break tomorrow. Then we'll be able to take the whole division to see the big Kenpachi-Unohana showdown tomorrow."

"Of course", Ulquiorra deadpanned, "I wouldn't miss that for the world."

"Ah, but which world?"

His lips twitched. "Very funny, Neliel."

He'd been wrong last night, he decided as they walked back to their division. Today was going to be so much more than merely interesting.


	6. Chapter 5

**Obligatory disclaimer: Tite Kubo is not me. Therefore I am not the owner of Bleach. Which is probably a good thing, as God knows what I'd come up with if it were all mine. Seriously, this fic is but the tip of a very twisted potential iceberg.**

**Listening to: Willy Mason – 'Oxygen'.**

**I think I've solved the italics thing (thanks to LavenderSkies), so we're back to that. Fingers crossed.**

**R/R!**

Chapter 5

As dusk fell, Ulquiorra looked up from the paperwork he had just completed to see his captain enter the office. She'd been in and out the whole day, coming to sign off on her share of the forms in between training sessions for the officers and new recruits and, to Ulquiorra's sharp eyes, she looked like she needed to rest. She offered him a small smile before slumping into her chair, only to sit bolt upright staring at her desk.

"Ulquiorra?"

"Yes?"

"I can see my desk."

"That really should go without saying."

"Funny. I meant in the sense that I can actually see a desk, not a giant pile of paperwork."

"That was the idea. It really was not that difficult. The guidebook is most helpful. We are still not up to date, but at least now the division is only two weeks behind instead of three months."

She was staring at him. He had done the right thing, hadn't he? "Is there a problem, Neliel?"

She broke out into a wide grin. "Hell no. I'm just considering whether it would be inappropriate to run up and hug the Captain-Commander for assigning you here. On the other hand, given that he's been telling me to get my paperwork in for the last couple of months, I think he'd understand. Only two weeks behind?"

"That is correct." She seemed far too delighted for something as simple as the paperwork backlog being reduced. It wasn't normal.

_But I like it. It makes absolutely no sense, but I like seeing her smile. This is insane. Can you overdose on paperwork? Maybe I just need some fresh air and then I can stop being so absurdly fixated on her. Or sleep. I cannot have had enough sleep, what with having to stay with Grimmjow. That will be the cause, I'm sure. I need to get out of here soon though. This office is far too small._

Nel stretched in her seat, trying to work out the aches from multiple training sessions and revelling in the fact that she could lean back in her chair without dislodging a tower of forms, before turning to Ulquiorra.

"Well, we're done for today. I'm sorry I left you in here most of the time, especially on your first day. There's just so much they need to work on."

"I don't mind." It had been hard enough to concentrate when she was only in sporadically. He hated to think how little he would have done if she'd been there the whole time. "Besides, we did decide that I should work on the administrative side of things and today was a good introduction."

She gave him another tired smile, and stood up. "You remember the way to your quarters?"

He did and yet something possessed him to shake his head as he stood up with her.

"Well, come on then. It's not too far."

Night was beginning to fall by the time they stepped out of the division, and walked along one of the many maze-like streets in companionable silence. Ulquiorra's mind, however, was somewhat less tranquil.

_What possessed me? I know damn well where my new home is, so why in Hueco Mundo did I… I'm going mad, I must be. This makes no sense. _

_I need to calm down. I am in a new environment. I need sleep. That is all this is. I will wake up tomorrow more accustomed to my new situation, and that will be the end of this madness._

He seemed preoccupied, Nel decided. He hid his thoughts well, but it was clear that they were where his attention lay. She racked her brains, trying to think up something to say, but came up blank. And yet, at the same time, she didn't want to break the comfortable silence. It felt right somehow. She was almost disappointed when they arrived at his door, but still mustered a smile.

"Well, this is you. I'll see you at the division tomorrow morning and we can get the troops together for the captains' showdown."

It was strange, the way he almost wanted to ask her to stay. And something that needed to be quashed instantly. "Thank you for assisting me. Goodnight Neliel." He nodded respectfully, before letting himself in to his new home.

Nel gazed briefly at his closed door, before using sonido to return to her own quarters.

_Ran was right. I do like him. I barely know him, but something's there… Oh, who am I kidding? We're completely different. If he's even capable of being interested in someone, it's hardly going to be me. _

She entered her rooms, closed the door and sighed.

_Better to just forget about the whole thing. It's a childish crush, it's not like it means anything._

_I hope._

xXx

Ulquiorra stepped into his room and considered laying his sword down on the bed, but decided he'd prefer to have it with him for this encounter.

"I know you are here Grimmjow. You are as incapable of stealth as the Kurosaki brat."

With a cocky grin, Grimmjow emerged from the shadows. "Who says I was hiding? So, got ya captain to walk you home, huh? Didn't try for a kiss goodnight? Invite her up to look at your etchings?"

"Grimmjow, you are disturbing and perverse. She was merely discharging her duty as captain and helping me find my way."

"You never had trouble with 'finding your way' in Las Noches, and that hole was a fucking labyrinth. You suffered some sort of directional crisis after the war?"

"Grimmjow?"

"What?"

"Kindly get the fuck out of my quarters."

"Ooh, someone's pissy. Have I hit a sore point?"

"No, I am just speaking a language that you will understand. Perhaps I need to be clearer. Get. Out. Now."

"Awww, that hurts. I came just to visit you and everything." Grimmjow paused. "I saw Stark today."

Ulquiorra sighed softly. It was clear that the other arrancar wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. "Really?"

"Mmm. He's… different."

"That's to be expected. What happened to Lillinette… he could not have come out of that unscathed."

"Hell if I know why. She seemed like an annoying little shit to me."

"Be that as it may, the reality is that Stark cared for her very much. Her death would have hurt him deeply."

Grimmjow gave him an odd look. "Shit, never thought I'd see you get sentimental."

"I am not getting anything. I am just stating a fact and the logical conclusions we can take from it. Anyway, just how has he changed? Has he gotten lazier?"

"Yeah and no. He seems to be working more, but he's just… I dunno, listless, I guess you'd call it. He just seems to be drifting."

"Does this conversation have a point?"

"Shit yer a cold fucker. Might want to change that, you'll never hook a girl with that kinda attitude."

"I have not the least desire to 'hook' anyone."

"Oh yeah, not even - "

"No one, Grimmjow."

"Least you got a captain worth looking at. Mine's all bitch, no fun. Bloody well beat the crap out of me 'training' after the Ichigo and Kenpachi thing."

"I can see where she would have been less than impressed. She defeated you, you say?"

"Yeah, well, it was hand to hand crap, nothing to do with any actual power."

"Keep telling yourself that Grimmjow. I hope it helps you sleep at night. Now, why are you here?"

"I saw Orihime today. She's having fun at the Fourth and they love her weird shit powers there. Can't get enough of her. Anyway, she and the rest of the human lot are heading back to their world soon. She wants to see you before she goes, say goodbye and thank you an' all."

"She doesn't need to thank me. I did it for myself, as much as for her."

"I told her that myself. She doesn't care though."

_Orihime. Now there is a possibility. She might be able to decipher what has been going on in my head. No one does feelings quite as much as she does. She is bound to be able to help me with this situation. And I do want to see her off. I've come to… tolerate her. Much like I have Grimmjow, really. If anyone else had shown up here and been half as annoying I would have ceroed their head clean off. _

_Unless it were Neliel._

_That does it. If a decent amount of sleep does not help this cease, I will discuss it with Orihime. At this point, any insight is welcome. _

_Except Grimmjow's. I am not that desperate._

"Very well, I will go see her. Are you done now?"

"Sure. I'll leave you alone with all ya friends. Have fun dreaming about ya captain!"

He disappeared, and Ulquiorra couldn't help but wish he'd stayed for a few more seconds. It would have given him the opportunity to throw something solid at the blue-haired idiot.

xXx

**The 'kindly get the fuck out of my (insert location here)' is burrowed from LittleKuriboh. Consider it my homage to the YuGiOh Abridged Series.**

**Anyway, it's the Kenpachi/Unohana showdown next. Place your bets!**

**Night y'all. **


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Tite Kubo is a 31 year old Japanese man. I am a 20 year old Australian woman. Tite Kubo creates amazing stories. I try to. Tite Kubo is an exceptional manga artist. My one art skill is drawing ducks that look more like pigeons with webbed feet. Tite Kubo owns Bleach. Are you sensing the pattern here yet?**

**Listening to: Hungry Kids of Hungary – 'Scattered Diamonds'.**

**R/R, people. You know you want to.**

**Hmmm… I hope you want to…**

**Oh dear.**

Chapter 6

As Ulquiorra woke the next morning, he finally felt the sense of calm that had been evading him the last few weeks. All the tensions that the Winter War, the escape from Hueco Mundo, his capture and his new position had wrought upon him seemed to have vanished, and he felt a sense of peace as the sunlight crept into his quarters, slowly bringing colour and definition into the room.

_It is a relief. I'm back to myself again, without being troubled by those bizarre impressions from the last few days. Everything will go back to normal and I will be able to work with my new captain without anything strange getting in the way._

He rose, dressed and, on impulse, sonido'd to the roof to look out over his new home. The sun, in the middle of climbing over the horizon, streaked a vivid magenta and violet sky with orange, the array of colours reflected on the uniform white buildings that made up the Seireitei. It was, he decided, a considerably more interesting view than anything you could see in Hueco Mundo. For starters, there was actually a sun, not to mention a general lack of sand, both things that he thoroughly approved of. Musing on this, he continued to gaze, until he saw a familiar figure a few rooftops away, also staring at the sunrise, a cup of something warm in her hands.

_Neliel._

The sensations he'd been hoping to avoid suddenly washed over him, and he swiftly returned inside.

_Fuck. So much for back to normal. How is it that I can feel like myself once more, and still be plagued by this?_

Shaking his head in an attempt to clear it, he went back to getting ready for work.

xXx

Standing on her roof with a cup of life-giving coffee in her hands, Neliel watched as the sun rose and the sky started to fade to a clear blue. The wonderful sensation of relaxation departed when she felt the telltale prickling on the back of her neck that told her someone was watching her. Glancing back, she saw no one that she could attribute this sensation to. She wasn't worried. Her watcher seemed to have been more surprised than hostile, and had, in fact, felt slightly familiar. The image of a tall, dark haired arrancar flashed into her head, as it had been doing consistently since she had first seen him.

_Now there's wishful thinking. As if anyone else would be up here at this hour, let alone him. I need to get a grip._

With a shrug, she turned back to her coffee and the dawn sky.

xXx

Ulquiorra arrived at the division a few hours later, only to find the entire squad gathered and listening to the directions Neliel was giving about the 'show' they were about to see.

"Alright", she yelled over the noise of the crowd, "firstly, do not under any circumstances sit up the front. Aside from being potentially spattered with blood, there's also the risk of injury. Remember, it's always a good idea to stay as far away as possible from Kenpachi when he fights, simply because if his opponent bores him, he'll look for a new one. Trust me, you don't want that to be you. Secondly, don't, whatever you do, take part in any betting pool set up by Yachiru. For starters, she only lets you bet on her precious Ken-chan, and even if you win, all you get back is empty candy wrappers. Any attempts to get anything more out of her will end in tears - yours, of sheer frustration. And finally, support the third division in their attempt to rebuild what Ichigo, Kenpachi and Grimmjow destroyed and buy some popcorn. Nothing goes better with wanton violence than popcorn! Okay, move out!"

As the crowd started to head toward the Eleventh Division headquarters, Nel spotted her lieutenant and beckoned him over.

"Ready for your second day at work?"

He gazed at the crowd briefly, before turning to respond. "I am, but I can't help but wish you'd made that speech earlier. I ran into Lieutenant Kusajishi earlier, and placed my bet on Captain Unohana."

Nel stopped in her tracks. "You didn't?"

"I did. The trade-off was that I had to put up with her choice of nickname without complaint. Being called Emo Kid doesn't particularly bother me, though I am curious. Neliel, what is emo?"

"Uh… Look on the bright side. She stuck me with Mouldylocks, some sort of combination of a human story and my green hair. It could have been worse."

"Neliel, you didn't answer my question."

"Tell you what, I'll show you emo kids when we go on a mission to the living world. It's easier than explaining. Deal?"

"Very well."

"So, you do realise that you'll never collect on that bet if you win."

"On the contrary, I told her that if she paid up I would use half the proceeds to buy her candy. In addition to that, I offered to personally ensure that Grimmjow ended up in the Eleventh Division at least once a week for a play date with 'Ken-chan'."

Damn, he was good. "Still, it seems like a lot of effort, especially the Grimmjow part."

"That is the part I would gladly do for free."

Nel stifled a giggle. "And here I was thinking you were friends."

He shuddered. "I tolerate him. There is a substantial difference."

"Nel!" An exuberant Rangiku trotted up to them. "Going to see the show?"

Nel smiled. "Hell yeah. It should be pretty damn impressive. Already warned the squad about Yachiru and the front row, so they're all geared up. Not to mention the promise of popcorn."

"Kami, yes. That's half the reason I'm going."

"What's the other half?" Ulquiorra enquired.

Rangiku turned to smile at him, the same smile that had caused countless men, and a few women, to suddenly lose track of what they were doing and walk into something solid. He didn't bat an eyelid. If anything, she thought, he was looking at Nel…

_Interesting… I could have a lot of fun with this. Nel's completely oblivious, he's completely oblivious… Oh yeah, a lot of fun._

"Well, I'm willing to bet that Retsu has a lot of suppressed rage. I mean, Kenpachi's division mocks hers all the time, and while she gets to intimidate his men, she hasn't been able to inspire unholy fear in him yet. I think this is her chance."

Ulquiorra considered this, and nodded. "I am glad to hear that. I placed a decent sum with Lieutenant Kusajishi on Captain Unohana."

Ran's jaw dropped. "You bet on her, with _Yachiru_?"

Nel laughed. "Long story, Ran. But yes. He's even going to collect."

"Well, I'm impressed."

This felt awkward, Ulquiorra decided. It wasn't as though he'd done anything special, and yet they seemed to think he had. Neliel's presence was not helping. It was as though all the assurance he had woken up with had suddenly departed for no better reason than the fact that he was near her.

_I really need to see Orihime soon. I don't know how much more of this I can put up with while remaining sane. _

He was relieved when they arrived and took their seats, Nel grabbing several bags of popcorn from the nearest Third Division member and passing them to Ulquiorra and Rangiku. Seeing her lieutenant look confused, she figured explanation was necessary.

"It's kernels of corn, heated so that they pop, mixed with butter and salt."

"I see."

She saw his hesitation. "It's really nice, I promise."

"If you don't want it, I'll eat it", Ran squeezed out between mouthfuls. "Oh crap, cleavage popcorn."

"What?" Ulquiorra was very sure he hadn't heard that term before.

"When popcorn falls… well, yeah. There is no dignified way to retrieve that." Nel clarified. "You won't have that problem though. Come on, just try it!"

It couldn't hurt to try, he decided, popping a few pieces into his mouth.

Nel watched as he ate, looking for a reaction. His expression didn't changed, but he nodded as he finished. "It's good."

Her smile lit up her face. "Knew you'd like it!"

His stomach felt strange, almost light. Was this the popcorn? He'd better not eat too much, just in case.

A traitorous part of his brain argued back that popcorn had nothing to do with this unusual feeling, and that it seemed to be directly linked to his captain smiling. He chose to ignore this thought, and fought to keep a scowl from his face. This struggle became harder as a very familiar figure with blue hair settled down beside him.

"Oi, Ulquiorra, gonna introduce me?"

_I am going to enjoy setting Kenpachi on him at regular intervals. It's more than he deserves._

"Grimmjow, what are you doing here?"

"Watching the show, of course. Hey, are ya gonna eat all that popcorn?"

"I am now, if only to spite you. Don't you have a captain to annoy?"

At this, Grimmjow mumbled something very incoherent.

"In English, Grimmjow. I realise that grunting is your first language, but you've been bilingual long enough to cope with conversation."

"Get fucked. Actually, that probably is a decent bit of advice where you're concerned - "

"Grimmjow", Ulquiorra growled.

"Ok, shit, lighten up. I'm just avoiding my captain, ok?"

Nel and Rangiku had been watching this exchange with identical grins on their faces, and decided to join in.

"You do realise that avoiding Soi Fon is impossible, right?" Ran pointed out.

"A guy can dream. Anyway, since Ulquiorra here is tongue-tied in the presence of such attractive women, let me introduce myself. Grimmjow Jeagerjacques, new Second Division lieutenant."

Ignoring Ulquiorra as he muttered something about death being too good for him, Grimmjow stuck out his hand to Nel, who grinned and took it.

"Well, I'm Nel, captain of the Seventh, and this is Rangiku, lieutenant of the Tenth. Are you joining us for the fight?"

"But of course. I wouldn't want to be deprived of my good friend Ulquiorra's company."

Settling himself down, Grimmjow smiled smugly at the fuming arrancar next to him. "Something wrong, Ulquiorra?"

"Nothing that couldn't be fixed by a good neutering, Grimmjow."

"Kami, that's just not cool. How would you feel if I threatened you like that?"

"Secure in the knowledge that I can beat the arrogance out of you without breaking a sweat. Now, shut up, it's about to begin."

"Since when are you so interested?"

"Since I put money on it."

"Whaddaya know, Ulquiorra Schiffer, closet gambler. Anything else you keep closeted, Ulqui?"

"Do not call me that."

"Call you what, Ulqui?"

"Oh, nothing… Kitty."

Ran decided to interrupt again. "Are you two going to stop flirting?"

As the two men wore almost identical looks of horror (the difference being that Ulquiorra's was slightly less expressive), Nel started to laugh. "Don't worry guys, Ran sees flirting everywhere. It gets scary, until you realise that she's just crazy."

"Hey, I resemble that remark!"

"You see? Anyway… Kitty?"

Ulquiorra almost smiled at that one. "Just wait until you see his release form. Or ask Ichigo about it. Either option would work."

Grimmjow scowled, and slouched in his seat. "Shut up, it's starting."

The two captains had entered the training grounds on opposite sides, Kenpachi in his usual uniform, and Unohana in one that was tailored like Nel's and missing the captain's haori. Her customary sweet smile was in place, but there was an edge to it as she drew her sword.

Grimmjow scoffed. "This thing's gonna be over before it even starts. If I wanted to watch Kenpachi wipe the floor with someone, I'd have just left him battle Ichigo on his own yesterday. You're about to lose money, Ulquiorra."

The two captains circled each other briefly, before Kenpachi stopped. "Okay woman, you get the same chance as every one else. One free shot. Take it."

Unohana's smile went from sweet to slightly alarming. "I'm insulted, Captain Zaraki. First you won't even remove your bells, and now this?"

"One free shot. Use it to prove to me that the Fourth aren't all whiny little pansies and - "

He was cut off as Unohana, in a move that was almost fast enough to be shunpo, but not quite, darted around him, grabbed him by the hair and sliced. By the time he'd turned around she was metres away, slowly dropping the locks of hair tipped with bells that she'd caught.

"I told you to remove the bells, Captain Zaraki. Consider that my free shot."

As he examined the damage to his hair a rabid smile started to form on his face. "Looks like this is gonna be fun after all." He lunged forward, their swords dancing, before he leapt back, grinning as he held up the foot of braid in his hand. Unohana narrowed her eyes, before smiling in a way eerily reminiscent of Kenpachi.

"Touché. Shall we?" She asked as she undid her hair and let it fall behind her.

"Hell yeah."

They launched themselves at each other again, sparks flying from their swords. Apparently, however, they were not the only sparks flying.

"Ok guys, I know my record with this isn't flawless, but I swear this is flirting", Ran stated in between popcorn pieces.

Grimmjow looked over to her. "Ok, now I know you're crazy."

"Told you", Nel replied with a smile.

"Actually, I think she has a point." They all turned to stare at Ulquiorra, who struggled to defend himself. "Well, if you take into account the way they're looking at each other, and the fact that they both seem to be really enjoying this, it does make a certain amount of sense. It might not be the most conventional method of flirting, but it is possible."

They were still staring at him. It was disconcerting, to say the least, and he was glad when Nel broke the silence. "I never thought it would happen, Ran. Someone agrees with you."

They turned back to the fight as the opponents' swords locked once again, only to be broken when Captain Unohana punched Captain Zaraki in the mouth.

"Shit, did I just see that right?" Grimmjow asked in disbelief.

Ulquiorra was almost inclined to smirk. "And you thought that I wasn't going to make money."

Nel watched, her head tilted to the side. "He's not even mad about it. In fact, he looks even happier."

Indeed, Kenpachi's grin had gotten wider as he wiped away the blood, and continued to do so as he tore through the sleeves of Unohana's black jacket. She stepped back and slowly, almost sensually, removed the fabric that remained from her arms, before swiftly charging in once more and removing his captain's haori with three decisive cuts. He retaliated by raking his sword down her leg and slicing her pants, leaving one of her long legs exposed. She grinned, and kicked him in the stomach, sending him to the other side of the arena.

Nel's eyes widened. "They keep this up and they won't be wearing anything."

Grimmjow turned to Ulquiorra. "Unbe-fucking-lievable. They're actually flirting, doing something that involves emotions, and you, of all people, actually called it."

"On the contrary", he replied, "I believe that honour goes to Lieutenant Matsumoto."

"Nope", Ran shook her head, "I was wrong. This isn't flirting, it's foreplay."

The three arrancar contemplated this statement.

"I really did not want that image in my head. Fuck, that's scary." Grimmjow muttered.

"For once, I actually agree with you. Which is disturbing enough on its own, let alone in conjunction to this… new theory." Ulquiorra stated, trying his utmost to suppress a shudder as he turned his attention back to the battle.

_It isn't exactly what you would call expected, but the two of them do seem to complement each other and bring out different aspects of their personalities. I suppose that this is the compatibility that the Eleventh's lieutenant was talking about, the way they can do that and match each other on the battlefield._

His thoughts drifted to the woman beside him, in a way that never failed to annoy him.

_She was the third Espada. She is at least my equal, and possibly more powerful than me. It would be interesting to spar against her. I wonder if she moves as gracefully in battle as she does in everything else…_

_Where the fuck did that come from? _

_I need to sort out what these feelings mean, or if they even mean anything at all. I refuse to acknowledge Grimmjow's lewd suggestions as a possible theory. Arrancar lack the capacity to develop such emotional or physical attachments, I am an arrancar and therefore also immune to them. To even start to think otherwise is ridiculous. _

Against his will he thought of Stark and Lillinette, of Nel and her affection for Ichigo.

_They are exceptions, freaks. The only reason I am bothered by my captain's attachment to that hoodlum with the ludicrous hair colour is because it is unnatural for our kind. That is all there is to it. _

His thoughts were broken off by the roar of the crowd, drawing his attention back to what was happening in front of him. Nel glanced at him and smiled.

"You still with us? It looked like you were having a moment."

She was perceptive. He'd have to be careful of that. "I was, I suppose. What did I miss?"

"No more clothing has been removed, and neither of them have drawn blood yet. They're surprisingly evenly matched."

The captains they spoke of were circling each other once more, the identical bloodthirsty grins still in place on their respective faces, before Kenpachi lunged forward, sword outstretched. Unohana leapt, landing on the flat, upturned face of his sword and they stayed, staring at each other from their unusual positions.

The crowd held their breath.

Faster than Yachiru after candy, Captain Unohana ran up the length of her opponent's sword and arm, her own weapon a blur as she brought it down, before vaulting away. There was a pause that seemed to last forever, before the blood spurted from where the tendon had been severed on Kenpachi's arm as the sword dropped from his hand and the crowd, particularly the Fourth Division end, went wild.

Ulquiorra gave a satisfied nod, as Ran turned to caution him. "You do realise that most of your battle will be getting Yachiru to pay up, don't you?"

"Screw that, he still bet and won!" Nel replied, "That deserves a high five."

Ulquiorra turned to stare at her outstretched hand and the palm facing him with some confusion, before laying his own palm against hers, mirroring her actions.

He'd been to the living world on a mission once during a storm, and seen a tree struck by lightening. He had a feeling that this was how the tree felt. Something strange seemed to course through him, and every nerve felt like it was on fire, a fire that didn't burn from pain, but something entirely different. Somehow it felt like he could sense every inch of the skin against his, as he brushed against her warm, impossibly soft palm.

_This… isn't normal. It can't be. I need to breathe, somewhere where she isn't, somewhere where she won't get inside my head. This is insanity. _

He pulled his hand back. Nel looked dazed, but quickly snapped into her customary sweet smile. "I forgot, you'd hardly be an expert on human world habits. The palms are meant to slap. It's kind of like applauding, but only being one half of the applause."

"Indeed. If you'll excuse me Neliel, but I should probably return to the office to continue with the paperwork."

"Of course. Are you still sure you can't call me Nel?"

"Very. I will see you back at the division, Neliel."

He strode off, desperate to get some distance.

_That does it; I'm seeing Orihime tonight. I refuse to put up with this any longer._

He walked on, oblivious to the way the hand she had touched continued to clench and unclench.

Nel watched him go, still reeling from the rush that had overpowered her when they had made contact.

_All we did was touch hands! That shouldn't make me feel like this. Hell, that shouldn't make me feel anything. Kami, what am I getting myself into?_

Rangiku watched as her good friend and the pale arrancar parted, and smiled knowingly, only to realise she was not the only one doing so. She sidled up to her fellow observer.

"You know, Grimmjow, I think those two may eventually need some help sorting themselves out. And who better to help than their friends? Just a little something to keep in mind."

He grinned back at her and drawled, "Rangiku, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship."


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: BLEACH IS MINE!!! ALL MINE! MUAHAHAHA!!!!! *is bitch-slapped into next year by Tite Kubo and his lawyers***

**Ok, fine. He owns it. Happy?**

**Listening to: The Kooks – 'She Moves in Her Own Way'.**

**So yes, wisdom teeth out today, which meant that my options were – **

**Curl up in pain and study for Mathematics 2A**

**Curl up in pain and start my Linear Algebra assignment**

**Curl up in pain and write Chapter 7**

**Naturally, I have picked c), but I shall leave you with this haiku I dedicate to my wisdom teeth – **

**Ow. Ow, ow ow ow.**

**Shit, piss, fuck, pain, burn, pony.**

**Ow ow, ow ow ow.**

**Pony is in there because it is a four-letter word. Now, to find my painkillers…**

**R/R!**

Chapter 7

The Fourth Division building was mostly shrouded in darkness by the time he arrived, slipping through the shadows and trying to get an exact reading on Orihime's reiatsu in order to find her. He did – and she was apparently not alone. The Quincy boy was there. Ulquiorra decided to wait until her visitor left. It was going to be undignified enough for him to raise this particular topic in their conversation, and he most certainly did not want an audience.

As he felt her guest's reiatsu move away, he crept forward on the rooftop, slipping down until he was outside her window. She was there, pottering about a half-filled suitcase and humming to herself, a wistful smile on her face that he usually only saw when Kurosaki was mentioned. She stopped abruptly, her head tilted to one side, before turning to the window.

"Ulquiorra-kun, is that you?"

He stepped in and she greeted him with a wide smile and a hug that, as usual, he was too stunned to respond to. "I wondered if you'd get to come see me! Do you want me to whip you up something to eat? I was making chocolate and red bean paste flavoured ice cream for Rangiku-san and I, but you can have some too."

Suppressing a shudder, he replied, "No, thank you, I ate before I arrived. You're leaving tomorrow then?"

She nodded. "Uryuu-kun and I are. Kurosaki-kun is staying here for a while, though. Lieutenant Izuru's being doing a great job with the Third, but they need a captain there, just to help them get on their feet."

He threw her a penetrating glance. "Uryuu-kun? I was not aware that you were now on first name basis."

A blush did not creep so much as explode across her face. "Well, uh…"

"That at least explains why you are now able to complete sentences in Kurosaki's presence. What brought this on?"

Her blush seemed to deepen. "Well, there really isn't much point in me chasing after someone who's so clearly in love with someone else."

Neliel and her concern for that brash idiot sprung to mind. Surely that little brat didn't… "Someone else, you say?"

"But of course!" She giggled, "Anyone can see that he and Rukia-san are obviously in love."

Ulquiorra let out a breath he hadn't even realised he'd been holding. "The little dark-haired soul reaper? The one who always seems to be beating him up?"

"Yep, that's the one! They make a cute couple."

"And you are not hurt by this?"

She paused. "I was, but the thing is, Rukia-san is my friend. If he had to be with someone else, I'm glad it was someone good and amazing the way she is. Anyway, once I stopped staring after him I could start to see other things and people I missed, and I realised that I sort of had feelings for other people too. It's weird the way you can feel something and not realise it!"

"Indeed." He was starting to feel the beginning of an uncomfortable epiphany coming on. "Well, I am glad you are content."

"Hmmm…" She sighed dreamily, before snapping back to attention. "But you're not, are you Ulquiorra?"

He flinched, and tried not to let the shock show on his face. "What makes you say that, Orihime?"

She shrugged. "You feel unsettled, sort of. Are you having troubles in your division? With your captain?"

But damn, she was good at this. "My division had a difficult time during the war, but is pulling together. I have no problem with Neliel."

She raised an eyebrow. "Neliel? On first name basis are we?"

He suppressed a flinch once more. "That is not amusing, Orihime."

"Well, that's a relief, because I'm not trying to be amusing. That's it though, isn't it? There's something going on and your captain's part of it."

He stared at her. "You are far too good at letting people underestimate you and your intelligence."

She grinned at him. "Came third in my class and everything. Now, what's going on? Are the two of you not getting along?"

"No, quite the reverse in fact."

"Really?"

"She is an enjoyable companion. But it is very difficult to concentrate on things when she is around. I also seem to be reacting strangely to her when she smiles, or when we make physical contact."

A smile had started to spread across Orihime's face. "Don't tell me, her smile makes your stomach feel strange and wherever you touch feelings tingly for ages after."

"I wouldn't use those words to describe it, but yes, essentially. Have you had this problem too? Should I see the Fourth?"

She was beaming now. "I wouldn't bother seeing the Fourth. And I have had this problem before. It used to centre on a certain Ichigo Kurosaki."

There was silence, until he realised what she was implying. "No. There is no way that is it." His eyes narrowed. "Did Grimmjow put you up to this?"

"What? Grimmjow? No." She sighed, and reached forward to touch his arm. "Look Ulquiorra, this probably wasn't what you wanted to hear, but it really does sound like you… well, like you _like_ her. It's not the end of the world, in fact, it's really cute."

He silenced her with a glare. "Cute?"

"Uh, poor choice of words, I meant - "

"I do not wish to hear what you meant. I want no part of this abomination." He paused, closed his eyes and breathed deeply before turning to her again. "How do I get rid of it?"

"Well, you don't really. That's half the problem."

"Fine. How did _you_ get rid of it?"

"By recognising my feelings for someone else. Somehow I don't think that's really what you want to do."

"Damn straight. Shit, now I'm even beginning to talk like her. What other ways are there?"

"Ways?"

"To get rid of this!"

"Ulquiorra, calm down."

"I am calm."

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Mostly."

She shook her head in response to this and smiled.

"This is not amusing, woman."

"I never said it was. The thing is, feelings don't go away just because we want them to. If they did no one would ever feel sad or lonely or anything much at all. So there isn't any set way to stop yourself from having a particular feeling. You just have to live with it until it goes away."

He gritted his teeth. "Fine. Are there any ways that one can shorten the duration of a particular feeling?"

"Hmmm…" She looked thoughtful as she toyed with the hair that her clips held back. "There are sort of two schools of though about this. One is that it's best to stay away from the person you feel for so that you can use the distance to move on. The other is that if you spend a lot of time in their presence you can become desensitised and move on that way."

"Those two theories are in complete opposition."

"I know but, like I said, feelings don't just - "

"Go away. I heard." He sighed. "Very well. I shall consider this advice before deciding on a course of action." He walked toward the window. "I will see you off tomorrow. Good night." He climbed onto the ledge.

"Ulquiorra?"

He turned back to face her. "Yes, Orihime?"

"What if she likes you back?"

His face seemed to harden. "Hollows should not feel. The fact that I am doing so is unnatural and something that needs to be remedied."

She shook her head impatiently. "But you're kind of part soul reaper too, and they feel. Why shouldn't you be able to?"

He turned back to the window. "Good night, Orihime."

He was gone, but not before a thought had rushed through his head.

_Why indeed?_

xXx

The very next morning, Nel arrived at work to find her office bare of all paperwork and her lieutenant's office equipment, not to mention her actual lieutenant. She requested an explanation from her flustered fifth seat and discovered that Ulquiorra had moved to one of the spare offices near the barracks on the grounds that it was quieter and more suited to his paperwork duties. He had also expressed a desire not to be disturbed unless it was absolutely necessary.

"He's very commanding", the fifth seat explained, "and I didn't think it would be a problem. Captain?"

"No, it's fine", Nel replied distractedly, taking in her very empty office, before moving to her own desk and sitting down. She stared at the space where his desk had been.

_How is it possible that I can miss someone who's only really been part of my life for two days?_

She shook her head, and went back to work.


	9. Chapter 8

**Obligatory disclaimer is obligatory. And disclaiming.**

**Listening to: Belle and Sebastian – 'Piazza, New York Catcher'.**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 8

Three months passed in which Nel barely even saw her lieutenant. Oh, she knew he was there. The paperwork was done, the rosters were flawless, the budget perfectly balanced and notes from lieutenants' meetings inscribed in a meticulously neat hand always made their way to her desk on time, but she could never find him.

Not that she was looking for him.

Much.

Ok, so maybe she had tried to find him a few times, just to see if she could have some company on her lunch break. Each and every time he had either been too busy with the paperwork, or he had gone and she was left to retrieve any messages he might have for her from their fifth seat, who had started to mutter darkly about being a go-between. She wasn't quite sure how to deal with this. They'd seemed to get along well the first two days, but then his abrupt removal from her office had her wondering. She should have been used to working in an office on her own, but suddenly it felt very bare and lonely, and she couldn't help thinking of him whenever she had a break between training sessions, though this wasn't very often. That was the other thing – he still hadn't really done any work with the division. She kept meaning to approach him with the idea of participating in a training session but, since she'd had no luck approaching him in general, that had fallen by the wayside. So it fell to her to continue training the squad on her own, and it was starting to take its toll on her. She was getting tired of Ran's concerned glances.

Closing up her office, she looked up at the darkening sky.

_I hate feeling like this. I didn't even do anything, he just went all recluse on me for no freaken reason! And then he has the gall to make me actually miss him, the bastard._

_Ok, he's probably not responsible for how I feel. But damn it, I have a hard enough time staying angry with him, I need a little more ammunition. _

_I am such a moron. I must have the worst taste in men since… well, Ran. Or Momo._

_That does it. I'm going out drinking with the girls. I need a break._

xXx

Two hours later, three female lieutenants and a captain entered one of the quieter bars in the second district of the Rukongai. While Rangiku had tried to take them somewhere 'livelier', Nanao had put her foot down and pointed out that going someplace where they threw the bodies out the window rather than the door was a little too lively for her tastes. Nemu had quietly stood by the more mature woman and Nel had been too tired to care, so here they were, still in uniform and seated at a table in the corner, clutching their respective drinks. None of them looked particularly happy, though with Nemu that was more a default expression. Nel was halfway through her beer before Rangiku slammed down her drink.

"That does it. What the hell is with everyone tonight? I know why I'm feeling lousy, but what's with the rest of you?"

Nemu looked up from her cosmopolitan. "I am not feeling anything too unpleasant, however I find that I am not enjoying going over my late father's belongings at all. It is somewhat depressing to have to go over the plans for prototypes of myself. But I daresay the feeling will pass. Why are you feeling unhappy Rangiku-san?"

They all stared at her open-mouthed. "Captain Urahara has you doing that?" Rangiku uttered in disbelief. "That bastard!"

Nemu shook her head. "On the contrary, I do not think he realised my father had kept such things or that they would affect me so. At the same time it is reassuring that I am capable of such feeling. It reminds me that I am not entirely my father's creation, as he would certainly never have imbued me with the ability to experience such emotions."

This speech was greeted with a silence that Ran broke. "Shit, and I thought I had problems."

Nemu looked confused at this. "But you clearly do. You are unhappy for a reason, are you not?"

The buxom woman shrugged and reached for her second sake bottle. "With me it's just the 'happy five year anniversary of the betrayal' crap. I made my peace with it and all, it just still gets me down."

"Well, that is still a problem."

"Yeah, but not on the same level as an existential moment. I think Nemu wins."

Nemu was looking even more confused. "I don't think I want to win."

"No one really does", Nanao explained, "Rangiku is just stating that our problems pale in comparison to yours"

"Oh. Well, what is troubling you?"

"Nothing new. My captain being an idiot, my captain being a drunken idiot, my captain being a lazy idiot and, occasionally to keep things fresh, my captain being a lazy, drunken idiot. He's a man of seemingly infinite variety." Nanao finished dryly.

"Awww. You love him." Rangiku teased.

"Shut up." Nanao blushed. "Anyway, I – Rangiku, did you spike Nel's beer?"

"Huh?" Ran looked up from her sake. "What, no. Not this time."

"Well, she's asleep."

They all turned to look at the slumped form of their friend, her head resting on the table beside her half-full (or half-empty, depending on who you asked) beer bottle.

"Well, shit. How'd that happen?" Ran muttered.

Nanao peered closer. "She looks exhausted. I mean, I thought she looked tired when the war ended, but this is worse. You can actually see the circles under her eyes, and those tattoos of hers usually cover them."

"True", Nemu replied, "but Yumichika-san informed me that this particular type of lighting is most unflattering, so perhaps that is part of it."

"And he'd know", Rangiku conceded, "but poor lighting doesn't make you fall asleep after half a beer. She's over worked."

"What about her lieutenant?" Nanao asked. "Surely he's been helping pick up the slack?"

Ran frowned, twirling a tendril of hair between her fingers. "That's just it. He's taken to locking himself up with the paperwork."

"I know that feeling." Nanao grimaced.

"Yeah, well, he's been avoiding her like she's diseased. Or Kenpachi. Which she's not."

"We can be entirely certain of the latter", Nemu nodded, "but the question is why would he do that? Did they have some sort of disagreement that preceded this?"

"No. I even asked Grimmjow last week after he had another 'incident' with Ichigo."

"They do have an interesting way of saying hi." Nanao mused.

"Well, technically the two of them are a different species to us. Often the greeting actions of another species seem strange to us, such as the way canus lupis familiaris sniff each other's behinds. It would seem strange if we did it, but to the species involved it has a particular meaning", Nemu stated casually.

"You, uh, might not want to mention that comparison to either of them", Rangiku giggled.

"We're getting off topic." Nanao pointed out. "Did Grimmjow have any ideas?"

"Nothing. But he agrees with me, they both seemed to be getting along really well when he first started. I mean, _really well._" She winked.

The other two looked at Ran.

"What?"

Nemu decided to explain. "It's not that we are doubting your word, but you do have a tendency to see attraction where there isn't the slightest."

Ran winced. "Don't break it to me gently or nothing. Besides, I have a second opinion!"

Nanao shook her head. "Grimmjow doesn't count. He's hardly what you'd call very perceptive."

Nemu considered this. "Who else is Lieutenant Schiffer close to that we could ask?"

There was a lengthy pause before Ran suddenly leapt up, almost spilling her fourth bottle of sake.

"Orihime!"

Nanao nodded. "Now there's an idea. When are you in the human world next?"

Ran looked bashful. "I'm kinda not allowed to go on my own anymore. Something about a maxed out credit card that belonged to Toushiro."

Nanao rolled her eyes. "Right. Well, if I left my division for the day my captain would probably do something drastic, like set the paperwork alight. That is, of course, if he could be bothered doing anything about it all. Nemu?"

"I could probably go once I have completed sorting through my father's work. However, I do not know if that will happen before the year is out."

Ran sighed. "Crapcakes. Back to square one it is."

"Well", Nemu began, "what exactly is it we wish to achieve? I don't think we can sort through their communication problems for them, but isn't the main problem Nel being over-worked? Could we not just explain the issue to him?"

"I did suggest I could talk to him when this started, but she shot me down." Rangiku admitted.

Nanao groaned. "Fabulous. She won't admit she's having trouble, she refuses to tell the one person who can help her she's having trouble, and where has this gotten her? Passed out here. Speaking of which, who's planning to carry her home? She's too tall for Nemu and I, and you're already three sheets to the wind."

"'M not", Rangiku said with a glare, then reconsidered, "Maybe one and a half."

"I think the point is that you will not be carrying her home." Nemu helpfully clarified.

"Well who…" Rangiku trailed off, only to suddenly look inspired. "That's it!"

"Here we go." Nanao said with a roll of her eyes.

"Ulquiorra's carrying her home!"

Nemu and Nanao exchanged looks.

"That actually isn't such a bad idea." Nanao said slowly.

"I agree. By avoiding contact with her, he has remained oblivious to the problem. This would be a perfect opportunity to make it clear to him what is happening." Nemu concurred.

Ran grinned. "See, not just a pretty face. Oops - " She righted herself after almost slipping off the chair. "Uh, you guys might want to take care of the actual hell butterfly sending. I'm going to sit still for a while."

xXx

As he had done every night since trying to separate himself from her, Ulquiorra dreamed of Neliel. The dreams themselves varied, from the sort of perverted scenes he wouldn't have thought himself capable of imagining to simple recollections of when they had first met on the battlefield.

This one was neither.

_Ulquiorra opened his eyes. The room was bright, sun shining through the open window. He shifted and froze when he felt the arm draped across his stomach. Turning to find its owner, he saw a dishevelled and sleepy Neliel, who appeared to only be wearing the blanket, open her eyes and smile drowsily at him, before leaning over to thread the fingers on her other arm through the hair not covered by his mask._

_That was the point he forgot to breathe._

_She put her lips to his ear and whispered in her sweet, lilting voice, "Good morning, Ulquiorra." His eyes closed, and he felt those warm, too-soft lips delicately brush his cheek._

"_Neliel."_

He woke up.

It was still dark, but he was able to see that he had not woken up to a kiss, but rather the brush of a hell butterfly's wing as it feebly fluttered in an attempt to wake him up. Groaning, he rolled over and sat up, glaring at the messenger with a brusque "What?" The butterfly settled and began to relay the transmission. A clear, authoritative and slightly tipsy voice rang out.

"Lieutenant Schiffer, this is Lieutenant Ise of the Eighth. I apologise for the intrusion. Unfortunately we require your assistance with Nel - "

Here another, considerably drunker, voice broke in. "Yeah, coz we're too hammered to move her."

"Rangiku, sit down before you hurt yourself. _We_ are not too drunk. _You_ are too drunk, and Nel is too tall for Nemu and I to lift properly."

"Che, whatever – SHIT!" There was a very loud crash.

"Kami, save us", the first voice muttered, "Nemu, take over please."

A third voice joined the one-sided conversation, clipped and precise.

"What Rangiku-san and Nanao-san are trying to say is please come and retrieve your captain. She is fast asleep and we cannot move her. You will find us in the bar opposite the teahouse and marketplace in the second district."

The transmission ended with a louder crash, and the voice of Lieutenant Ise using words he would have expected to hear from Grimmjow. Ulquiorra blinked, before closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

_So much for maintaining a distance._

xXx

Half an hour later, dressed and slightly less asleep, Ulquiorra had located his captain and her friends. It hadn't been hard. He spotted Rangiku as she stumbled out of the bar to settle herself behind two slight, dark-haired women, one adjusting her glasses and the other taking the pulse of a familiar figure curled up asleep on the side walk.

"Asshole bouncer, all 'you can't sleep in here'. We're paying customers!" Rangiku burst out.

Nanao looked up. "It was probably a mistake to hit on him. You really upset his boyfriend."

"Well, how the fuck was I supposed to know he was gay? 'Sides, he was still looking. I could totally turn him. More to the point, how was I supposed to know his boyfriend was the owner?"

Nemu spoke up. "Well, the fact that they were kissing behind the bar before he had to come over probably should have indicated that flirting was not the best strategy."

Ran glared at the other woman. "Hey Nemu, do you know what a rhetorical question is?"

"Of course, it is a question asked without any anticipation of an – oh."

"Yeah."

"Rangiku, stop it", Nanao commanded. "How is she, Nemu?"

"Her breathing is fine and she has no temperature. There is no need to take her to the Fourth. I still think she should rest, though. She cannot continue to be so over-worked."

"I just hope her lieutenant gets here soon. This can't be comfortable for her."

"Yeah, well, he should have thought of that before he dumped her with all the physical work", Rangiku muttered darkly, "I'm just surprised she's coped this long. I thought the whole point of her having a lieutenant was so that she'd stop working herself to death."

He'd heard about the human emotion guilt before, but he'd had no idea that it could make you feel so sick. Studiously avoiding Neliel had meant that he had not really seen her, but now, as she lay beneath the streetlight, it was clear that she had lost weight, and that her face was looking gaunt compared to when he had last looked at her.

_This is mostly my doing. She needed a lieutenant to help her cope with the workload, and where have I been? Skulking in an office as far away from her as possible, disappearing whenever I feel her reiatsu approach. I have been so caught up in hiding from her that I never even noticed that she was suffering for it. It never occurred to me that there would be consequences._

He tilted his head to the side, watching as she slept peacefully on the concrete.

_This needs to change. I will make this up to you Neliel, I promise that much._

Nanao stifled a yawn. "Damn, he doesn't show up soon and I'll be as late as my captain tomorrow."

That, he decided, was his cue. He stepped out of the shadows and walked toward the women.

"Good evening, lieutenants. I believe I'll take it from here." He crouched beside Neliel.

"We're sorry about the late call - " Nanao began.

"It is no problem. Thank you for staying with her." He picked his captain up effortlessly. "Good night."

With that, he walked off into the night.

xXx

Nanao watched Rangiku carefully. "You knew he was there when you said that last bit, didn't you?"

The other woman gave her a lopsided smile. "Hell yeah."

Nemu looked impressed. "That was a clever move."

"Well, I'm good at this shit, even if I'm one and a half sheets to the wind." She raised her sake bottle in a toast.

"Ah, Rangiku-san?"

"Hmmm?"

"You're holding your sake bottle upside down. It's spilling."

"Shit. Maybe I'm closer to two sheets to the wind."

Nanao rolled her eyes. "You're the entire linen closet. Come on girls, time to head home."

xXx

As he arrived at his captain's house Ulquiorra propped her carefully against the wall as he searched her pockets. It had been maddening, carrying her back as she'd curled in closer to him, burrowing her face into his chest. She smelled faintly of apples, and there was a part of him that wondered if she would taste like them too.

_Damn it, focus! You have the keys, now just open the door, let her in and get out before this gets worse._

Suddenly, Neliel slumped to the side and started to fall. Without thinking, he caught her, holding her close to him. His breath hitched as she opened her eyes blearily and mumbled his name. Attempting what he hoped was a reassuring voice, he replied, "It's all right Neliel, it's only me. Go back to sleep."

Closing her eyes again and snuggling against him she mumbled, "It's Nel, damn it."

Chuckling quietly to himself, he turned the key and let them in. Her house was small, but cheery, much like their office space. He found himself rather liking it and wishing he didn't, but that was hardly new when it came to her. Settling her on the bed, he sat down beside her and brushed the hair out of her face. She shifted, and that action brought her lips to the palm of his hand.

He froze. It was like the moment their hands had touched, but on a scale he couldn't have imagined. He couldn't seem to breathe, he couldn't think of anything but the woman in front of him and how good her lips felt against his skin.

_My dreams are nothing to this. It's… intoxicating. She's intoxicating._

He moved his hand, his thumb trailing over her bottom lip.

_She smells so sweet, would she taste sweet too? I wonder…_

He leaned forward…

She shifted again in her sleep, and he caught himself, horrified.

_I almost kissed my captain. I almost kissed a very asleep Neliel. How the fuck did that happen?_

He sonido'd to the other side of the room, trying to get his breathing under control, but it still felt like he needed more distance.

_Attempting to cure this through absenting myself from her life hasn't helped in the least. If anything, I'm worse off than __I was before.__ She still affects me, only now, if anything, it has gotten stronger. It's time to change my approach. _

He left, walking into the kitchen and pondering.

_If I am to desensitise myself to her, I need to start ingratiating myself into her life. After all, the more time spent in her presence, the faster this feeling should diminish, according to the second theory Orihime told me about. And what better time to start than now…_

xXx

Nel awoke the next morning feeling refreshed and calm, until she remembered passing out on her friends.

"Crap. Crap, crap, crap, shit. They take me out to cheer me up, and what do they get? The once in a freaken lifetime opportunity to cart me back home after I fall asleep in the middle of a conversation. Life of the party, that's me."

She looked over to check the time, and swore, stumbling out of bed.

Great. I'm going to be late, and worse, I know I'm out of coffee.

Tearing into the kitchen after the world's quickest shower, she stopped, staring at the counter on which two full bags of coffee now stood.

Well… fuck. I owe Ran big time.

Walking forward, she found the note wedged under one of the bags and felt herself gape as she read it.

_Neliel._

_Firstly, no, I will not call you Nel. The coffee is yours for the taking, consider it a personal apology for taking so long with the paperwork backlog. As for why I was here last night, your friends were somewhat concerned after you fell asleep at the bar, and lacked the necessary sobriety levels to help you home. I hope you feel better and I will see you at the training grounds when you come in._

_Ulquiorra._

She read it again. Then she read it a third time, a smile creeping across her face as she looked over the last line.

_I like today already._

xXx

**Awww. Just a heads up – I have a major exam this week, so there may be a bit of a delay posting chapter nine, which is currently languishing half-finished and with little hope of being posted until next weekend. I will try to make it sooner but, just in case, you have been warned.**

**Pip pip!**


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: This is silly. We all know that if I owned Bleach, it'd be very different. It would probably also be unsafe for human consumption, so it's undoubtedly better off in Tite Kubo's hands. Even if he did kill Ulquiorra… *mutters darkly***

**Oh well, enjoy the show.**

**Listening to: Lykke Li – 'I'm Good, I'm Gone.'**

**R/R. Please? *pouts in a Shunsui-like fashion***

Chapter 9

He was actually nervous. That in itself was alarming, but it was going to have to be considered a necessary evil.

_I just need to spend enough time with Neliel to become desensitised to her presence, and then this feeling will have passed. I can put up with it in the interim. Hell, if I have avoided killing Grimmjow thus far I can withstand any annoyance. _

His hand on Murcielago's hilt, he paced in the office, which was now back to its cramped proportions as he'dreturned his desk to its original position, and then stopped as further thought occurred to him.

_What if she was seriously upset by my unavailability these past few weeks? She does not seem like the type to hold a grudge, but I have not exactly spent enough time around her to be sure of this. If she did, I wouldn't be able to spend enough time with her for this to take effect. I could be stuck like this…_

_Worse, this could not work at all. Orihime did not mention if she knew any other ways to deal with my problem, and I - _

_I am panicking. I am better than this. I am going to sit down and do something more productive than pacing across the room and staring at her desk. _

_I am better than this._

xXx

Nel arrived at the division to find her ninth seat walking around with an expression on her face that indicated that, if she had been physically capable of doing so, she would have been permanently rolling her eyes. She stopped when she spotted her captain, and handed her a stack of forms.

"Files from the last mission. And be warned, your lieutenant's back."

"I knew that already", Nel replied, slightly puzzled. "Why the warning?"

The tall, dryly sarcastic woman pointed toward her closed office and the large group of women (and a few men) gathered outside, giggling and trying to peer in.

"What the - "

"He's got a bit of a fan club."

"No shit. How the hell do I get into my office?"

"Pull rank. I'm just glad he stayed away the last few weeks. We'd never have been able to get the new recruits to pay any attention if he'd been on the field."

"Mmm, this year's graduates are predominantly women", Nel murmured absent-mindedly, staring at her door. "I, uh, suppose he is attractive, in a cold sort of way", she added as nonchalantly as she possibly could.

The ninth seat gave her a look of disbelief. "Honey, I don't even swing that way and I can why they're hanging out for him. You're either blind or in denial."

"Or, oh, I don't know, his superior officer?" _Please, Kami, don't let me be blushing. _

"Che, whatever. You think that stops anyone? Look me in the eye and tell me that the captain and lieutenant of the Eighth haven't been together for years."

_Ah, touché. _"Well, I'm not Nanao."

"Actually, I think you'd be Captain Kyoraku in this equation."

"Ha ha bloody ha. I'm not him either."

"Alright, I get you. Well, go tell the fan girls and boys to quit slacking. There's plenty that needs doing."

"Damn straight." She sighed. "Time to get to work."

xXx

Five minutes later, having dispelled the crowd to their various duties, Nel walked into her office and faced the man who had been wreaking havoc with her mind for the last few months, with an intelligent and gracious speech planned to welcome him back and thank him for getting her home last night. What came out, on the other hand...

"Uh, for the record, I only had half a beer. I wasn't passed out or anything. I mean, not that it hasn't happened, but not on a weeknight. And not that it's a regular occurrence! I mean, it might have happened once or twice, but that's a side effect of being friends with Ran, and - "

"Neliel, I know that you were not drunk. You barely smelled of alcohol. I would, in fact, wager that there was more alcohol merely floating in Lieutenant Matsumoto's breath than there was in your entire body."

Now she just felt like an idiot. _Not that that's anything new here. _"What can I say? Ran has a gift."

He suppressed a smirk. "She does." He paused there, and sighed. "Anyway, you do not need to explain yourself to me. It is very clear that you have been working far too hard over the past few weeks, and now that we are up to date in all things administrative it is time I joined you in training our squad."

_Wow. I've gone from babbling mess to enjoying how good 'our squad' sounds in less than a minute. I need help. Serious help. _

She seemed a little preoccupied, he decided, but not upset. _That must be positive, mustn't it? I just wish she would stop staring at her feet and look at me. Her shoes cannot possibly be this interesting, and it is starting to get awkward. _

She looked up at him and smiled, and he felt something inside him twitch.

_This will pass. Just let it play out and it will fade. Orihime said so. _

_Then again, she did also say that feelings didn't just go away, didn't she?_

_Shit._

"Well, thank you for getting me home last night and for the coffee." Her voice cut through his internal monologue, and he was grateful for the distraction.

"I'm glad you liked it, but it was nothing. I've been doing so little for you lately, I'm glad to make it up to you. Anyway, I believe we have a training session to attend to. According to the roster, we're assisting our squad with their shunpo." He stopped there and a crease appeared between his brows as he looked up to her for confirmation. "That would be the shinigami equivalent of sonido, wouldn't it?"

"Yep." She nodded. "The beauty of it is that the only difference between the two techniques is where the power to use them comes from. Essentially they both work the same way, which means I can give them the same tips to improve as I would to a fellow arrancar."

"I see. And how have they been performing in this respect?"

She grinned. "We've seen serious improvements since the introduction of the weekly division-wide game of tag."

He stared at her. "That's some sort of human children's game, isn't it? You are joking, are you not?"

Her grin widened. "Nope. Trust me, it works. The new recruits think it's fun, and to the division members who made it through the war it's a more light-hearted way of motivating them to train."

He raised an eyebrow. "And here I was thinking that the word tag on the rosters was an acronym."

"Hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it. Speaking of which, guess what today's session is?"

His eyes widened. "Oh."

"Trust me, it's fun. I'll even let you be 'it'." She gave what she hoped was an encouraging smile. "Would I lie to you?"

Something stirred in his eyes and the corner of his lips twitched. "Of course not. A noble and upstanding captain, such as yourself, would never lead a subordinate astray in such a manner." He stood up and opened the door. "Shall we?"

_Things to do – one, stop staring at his lips. Even if he does look really sexy when he does that almost-smile thing. Two – stop dwelling on any potential double entendre in what he just said. I'm getting as bad as Ran. Three – actually respond when he talks rather than gazing at him stupidly. Like, say, **now**?_

She stood up hurriedly. "Of course. Wouldn't want to keep the troops waiting." She brushed past him as she walked out the door and tried desperately to ignore the way her body tingled when it made contact with his.

He could smell apples again. She only needed to be that close for a second, and suddenly it was as though all logical thought had stopped.

_This will pass._

_Right?_

He followed her out.

"Ah, Neliel?"

"Yes?"

"What's 'it'?"

xXx

After the brief walk to the training grounds and an explanation of the finer points of tag, Ulquiorra found himself being stared at by the entirety of the squad, who had lined up in anticipation of this exercise.

_This is… odd. Wait - did he just wink at me?_

The tenth seat, who had been staring at him most intently, followed this action up with a little wave.

_I am officially disturbed._

"Oh yeah", Neliel whispered, a wicked smile on her face, "I probably should have mentioned this beforehand. You have a few admirers."

"A few." He intoned blankly, noting at least five other winks, some additional waves, one or two very expressive smiles and the ninth seat finally giving in to her eye-rolling urge. "Thank you, Neliel", he added in a voice that simply oozed sarcasm, "I do so appreciate being warned ahead of time and given the opportunity to prepare myself. Remind me to pay you back for this kindness."

Her eyes shone with sheer amusement. "Anytime. Also, it has occurred to me that you probably shouldn't be 'it' today. I think the majority of these people want to be caught, and that's hardly the point of the exercise."

He allowed himself an infinitesimal smile at this. "You just want to be 'it' yourself."

She smiled gleefully. "Damn straight."

"Very well, I will go join the ranks of the chased. Who am I safe with?"

"Our ninth seat, Maiko Yukaya."

"You are sure?"

"Very. You're not her type."

"Oh? And her type is?"

"Not male." She tilted her head to the side. "You almost sound disappointed."

"No, just trying to ensure my personal safety. Enjoy being 'it', Neliel."

He walked off to stand next to the Ninth, all the while very deliberately avoiding eye contact with the Tenth. She smiled briefly at him, before turning to address the rest of the division.

"Ok, people! Our new lieutenant, Ulquiorra Schiffer, is joining us for today's game, so look lively and play nice. Remember, rules for this one are - if the person who's 'it', in this case, me, tags you and marks you with white chalk, you are out! Stay in and be one of the last five caught and we will pay your bar tab for the weekend! Are you ready?"

Ulquiorra was nearly deafened by the response.

"Alright, 3, 2, 1 – GO!"

He didn't hang around. Flitting to the opposite end of the field, he watched as she gave chase to her division as they all flashed around the grounds. At first he wondered how someone with her spiritual pressure could move so slowly, until he spotted her hesitate and avoid tagging one of the younger members.

_Of course. She holds back in order to give them as much of a work out as possible. She does it well, too. If I hadn't been watching I would not have picked up on it. Still, I cannot help but wish I could see her in action… **On the field**. Strictly on the field. Damn it, I have been spending too much time with Grimmjow; his perverted mind is catching._

He looked back out, only to see her heading down his side of the grounds.

_It would be interesting to take her on as an equal… I suppose I'll just have to continue playing and see if she takes things up a notch._

A tiny smile spreading across his face, he disappeared in a burst of sonido.

Kami, he was fast, Nel decided as she saw him disappear yet again. They'd been playing now for over two hours, and were down to the last four players, including Ulquiorra, and while she could see the others beginning to lag, there was no evidence that he was even ruffled by the game.

_Time to get serious._

She smirked, and launched herself after two seated officers in a corner, neatly tagging them both, before pursuing the third.

In his own corner, Ulquiorra's eyes widened. _I had trouble following that little manoeuvre. It would appear that she's upped her game…_

Nel leapt across the field, tagging the last seated officer and turned to face her final opponent.

_Ulquiorra…_

They stared across the training grounds, neither moving a muscle, their eyes fixed on each other waiting for whoever would move first.

_Damn, she has such arresting eyes. I am being distracted, I need to foc –_

_Shit, she moved._

Using sonido he slipped away an instant before she appeared where he had been. She grinned, and turned to give chase. He hurtled across the field, varying his direction, doubling back, but nothing seemed to shake her. In fact, it looked as though she was gaining.

_I am actually enjoying this. I have not been truly challenged since I left Hueco Mundo… That was close._

He dodged as she kicked back off the wall of the barracks and almost caught him. He sped away, and looked up at the roof of the offices, before turning back to her with a glint in his eyes. Nel's own eyes widened.

_He wouldn't…_

He would. He had leapt onto the roof. Grinning she gave followed, ignoring the cheers of her division as they enjoyed the show.

_Now this is fun._

She was still getting closer and looking far too good doing it. He could sympathise with the people who had wanted to be caught – it was starting to become a surprisingly appealing notion. He'd heard about her release form, and it seemed very apt for someone who moved with the inherent grace and speed that she seemed to possess. It was also very overwhelming, and made it far too hard to pay attention to the task at hand. There was only one way to finish this, he decided, as he scaled the highest building in the division grounds, before turning back to his captain.

He had that look again, that one that said he was up to something, and one of his half-smiles. The combination was…

_Shit, that's sexy. No wonder he has an army of admirers, and that's just this division. Now, what's he trying to do…_

He turned back and, before Nel could do anything, launched himself off the building and into empty space, drawing his sword as he did so.

"Bind, Murcielago!"

There was a blinding light that cleared to reveal Ulquiorra in midair, held aloft by a pair of enormous bat-like wings, a very definite smirk in his eyes, if not on his face. She stood there on the roof, shock clear on her face, before starting to laugh.

"That's cheating," she got out between giggles.

The smirk had spread to his voice. "On the contrary, Neliel. It is important for the division to understand that it can be necessary to use any power they have at their disposal to flee a foe. I am merely demonstrating that point."

"You just didn't want to lose!"

He mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "Damn straight" and started to descend. "So, did I lose after all?"

"Judging from the way our audience went off, I think you almost won for sheer entertainment value, but let's call it a draw."

"You just don't want to lose." He countered.

"Damn straight."

"Indeed." He pondered this. "Does that mean I can be 'it' next time?"

She raised an eyebrow and returned his smirk. "You've already got your free drinks. Don't push your luck."


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't even own any of the bleach you can buy in the supermarket. **

**Listening to: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – 'Love Burns."**

**Enjoy kiddies. I certainly did, this chapter was so fun to write.**

Chapter 10

"C'mon, ya know you wanna!"

"No, Grimmjow. I refuse to spend my weekend buying you drinks with my hard-won bar tab. For one thing, it will beggar my division, and for another, it will involve me spending the weekend in your company. Neither of these things appeal to me in the slightest. I have agreed to join you tonight on the condition that you will leave me alone for the next week, and that is all I am willing to concede. Now drop it."

Ulquiorra trudged along the street wondering if spending tonight with the other arrancar and his 'drinking buddies' was really going to be worth it. Yes, it would leave him Grimmjow-free for an entire seven days, but that was only in theory. And Seireitei only knew what Grimmjow would throw at him during the course of the evening. He'd already had to dodge one insinuation about his captain, and there would not doubt be many more…

"Jus' one round. I won't bug you for any more, I swear. It's not like you even drink anyway."

"I plan to try tonight."

"What brought on the change of heart?" A grin slipped over his companion's features. "_She_ drinks, doesn't she?"

"I have no idea who you could be referring to." Ulquiorra replied coldly.

_It might almost be worth getting him drunk in the hopes that it will shut him up. On the other hand, I hardly wish to jeopardise my cordial relations with my captain by forcing her to foot an enormous bar tab. Especially given my current plan._

The last week had, admittedly, been torture. It was all too easy to spend time around Neliel, which was helpful, but it was driving him insane being this close to her. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but he didn't. He wanted to follow through on his almost-kiss from that night, but he didn't. He wanted to stop dreaming about her, but he didn't, although at least that one was already out of his control. It was maddening, trying to attend to paperwork when she was right there on the other side of the room, completing her own stack and occasionally shaking the hair out of her eyes (he wanted so badly to brush it out of her face for her, to feel it on his fingertips again), or talking to a subordinate in her gentle, lilting voice (he found himself listening out for it, enjoying the way it sounded), or just _being_.

But it was necessary; he would remind himself. Eventually this would fade and he could go back to being his usual calm and collected self, or so he hoped. He hadn't seen a diminishing in his emotional reactions yet, but perhaps this was something that had to get worse before it got better. Many illnesses were like that, and he had started to think of this as his own personal disease. He did hope it cleared up soon. Every once in a while he found himself _enjoying_ being sick, and it disturbed him no end. It also did nothing to improve his mood in general.

Masking a grimace, he caught up with Grimmjow who had walked ahead while he was lost in thought.

"Just who are we spending time with tonight? Please tell me that the rest of the people I will be seeing are not as obnoxious as you are."

"Che, you can be such a prick sometimes - wait, who am I kidding? You're a prick all the freaken time. How ya captain puts up with you is beyond me."

"Who, Grimmjow?"

"I dunno. Ichigo and Renji, an' anyone else who swings by. Apparently we're playin' a drinking game."

Ulquiorra stopped in his tracks. "No."

"Aww, c'mon, ya might even have fun. 'Course, I dunno if you're even capable of having fun, but it's worth a try."

"No."

Grimmjow paused, and considered his options before grinning. "Tell you what. If you agree to come and play the drinking game, I'll stop hinting about you and ya captain. Seriously, I promise."

Silence greeted this offer.

Grimmjow shrugged. "Fine, you clearly got better things to do." He grinned. "Or better people. Planning to wrap those long legs of Nel's around your scrawny hips and - "

"Fine. I'm going. Now shut up." Ulquiorra resumed plodding toward the bar.

He had not needed that mental image. _Now I really do need a drink, damn him. That was not helpful. _

Grimmjow allowed himself a brief, triumphant smile before following.

xXx

Two hours later, Ulquiorra had decided two things. Firstly, he hated alcohol. He felt dizzy, strange and was having trouble with basic motor functions, and none of these were things he enjoyed. Secondly, no matter what Grimmjow promised to do, he was not playing 'I never' again as long as he drew anything that resembled breath. The game was juvenile, pointless and contributing to the overall amount of alcohol he drank. Worse – it was his turn.

"C'mon, 'Quiorra", a very intoxicated Ichigo slurred out, "it's ya go. Unless you're too drunk to talk."

Lifting his head from the table, Ulquiorra fixed the new captain with a steely glare. "I am not yet that intoxicated, trash."

"An' he's back to callin' us trash!" Grimmjow cheered. "That's the Espada we know and hate." He poured himself another shot of sake. "Ya know, yer really not a very fun drunk."

"I'm devastated to hear that you're disappointed. Truly. My non-existent heart bleeds." Ulquiorra's head returned to its resting place on the table.

"No' the point", Renji broke in, "it's still ya turn."

With a very audible sigh, Ulquiorra lifted his head once more to glare at them all blearily. "Fine. I have never wanted to kill every person at this table."

"There's someone at this table ya don't wanna kill?" Ichigo was surprised, to say the least.

"Awww, I knew ya liked me deep down." Grimmjow draped an arm around Ulquiorra.

"Remove the arm before I cero it. I was referring to Captain Abarai. I don't know him well enough to want to kill him." With a shove that removed Grimmjow from his bar stool, Ulquiorra turned to the others. "Well, get drinking."

The other three men downed their shots.

"Wait, what 'bout you?" Grimmjow said suddenly, turning to his fellow arrancar.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you're at this table too. This mean you wanna kill yaself?"

Ulquiorra concealed an eye roll. "At this point in the evening, and given the current company, I wouldn't rule it out."

Meanwhile, Ichigo was glaring at Renji. "Oi, when'd you wanna kill me?"

The other captain shook his head. "Rukia, execution, remember?"

"Ah, right."

"Wait, if you weren't even thinking about that, then when'd ya wanna kill me?"

"Uh, gee, look at that, it's Grimmjow's turn."

"I won't forget this, ya little shit."

"Yeah ya will", Ichigo replied. "I've seen how much you've had tonight."

"Fuck you."

"Eh, is it my go or not?" Grimmjow interjected.

"Fine. Go ahead and make your inane statement."

"You know Ulquiorra, I don't think ya really drunk. You still sound like a complete tool." Ichigo muttered.

"Oi! My turn." Grimmjow cleared his throat and grinned at Ulquiorra. "I've never had to carry my captain home from a bar."

Ulquiorra glared at the shot glass placed in front of him, and then at Grimmjow. "Death. Too good for you. Remember that."

"Whatever. Drink up. Ichigo's turn."

The substitute shinigami considered this, and then a smile spread across his features that unsettled all present. "Fine. I've never had an impure thought about my captain."

Silence greeted this, before Ulquiorra turned and fixed a furious, drunken look somewhere beyond Grimmjow's left shoulder. "You promised, you bastard."

"No, I said _I _wouldn't bring it up. I didn' say they wouldn't."

Ichigo grinned. "Nel, huh? Well, time to take ya shot."

Ulquiorra drank up before shooting them all a murderous look. "I hate you all. My revenge will be terrible."

The orange-haired captain chuckled. "Yep. Still worth it. Anyway, he wasn't the only one who went awful quiet jus' then. Any o' you wanna share?"

Grimmjow stared at the table for a minute, before reaching over to pour himself a shot. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow. "Soi Fon? Three weeks ago you showed up in my quarters raving and claiming that she was, and I quote, "the bitch queen from the dimension of the ultra bitches". You ceroed a hole in my wall while yelling it, which, by the way, you still have not fixed. You've constantly been complaining that she beats you up in training and that you would love to be able to return the favour. What changed?"

Grimmjow mumbled something incoherent.

"Sorry", Ichigo said with a smile, "I didn't quite catch that."

"I said, I like that 'bout her." Grimmjow repeated, his eyes fixed on his feet.

"Indeed." Ulquiorra couldn't help but suddenly feel as though he was in a better mood. Grimmjow noticed this. "Yer not gonna let this go, are ya?"

"You have been insinuating things about Neliel and I for weeks. What do you think?"

"Shit. I'm screwed."

"Precisely."

"All right", Ichigo began, "I think it might be time t' call it a – wait, Renji, why'd you take a shot?"

The other captain was as red as his hair. "I don' wanna talk about it."

"But, both ya captains have been men! Actually, I guess that explains a lot, come to think of it…"

Grimmjow started to laugh.

Renji slumped face forward on the table, but was still very audible as he growled, "I said, I don't wanna talk about it, Ichigo."

"Ok, so you like men. That's cool, just please, at least tell me it wasn't Kenpachi."

"Shit. No, not Kenpachi, ok?"

"But that leaves - "

"I don't want to talk about it. That really so hard for ya to understand?"

"Damn. All this time everyone's been thinking you're interested in a Kuchiki, they jus' picked the wrong one."

"Ichigo, I will kill you."

"Yeah, 'coz that worked so well last time ya tried."

"Fuck you."

It was time, Ulquiorra decided, to do what he should have done before they even began the game. He stood up, and started to head to the door only to feel the world go fuzzy. He slumped back down, ignoring Grimmjow's snigger.

_It would appear that I'm not quite as sober as I thought. Well all the same, I'm damned if I stay here. _

He made a second attempt to rise, and this time the world stayed put. Deciding this was good enough, he mumbled a 'good night' to the other three and left the bar. He made it two blocks before he felt queasy and realised that leaving had not been the best of ideas. He slumped against the nearest wall and rested, weighing his options – go back to the bar and then be laughed at by Grimmjow, continue on and hope he didn't vomit, or wait here and sober up before attempting the walk home. The first one was clearly not going to happen if he could help it, the second had very unappealing potential consequences, and so he was left with the third, he decided, just as his eyelids gave up the struggle to remain open.

xXx

Nel had found many strange things walking home from a night at Rangiku's at 3am in the morning. A bonfire made entirely of the Eighth's paperwork sprung to mind (Nanao still hadn't entirely forgiven Shunsui for that one), or Yachiru directing the Eleventh to make a human pyramid. There was also an incident where she thought she'd spotted a pterodactyl, which was why she would never drink tequila ever again. Still, all these findings paled in comparison to her latest discovery – a very drunk Ulquiorra propped up against the wall, his head resting on his right shoulder. This, she decided while walking closer, warranted further investigation.

He looked remarkably peaceful when he slept. Awake, the strain of hiding his emotions would sometimes show, and she wished that she could shake some sense into him and get him to just express them. At the same time, though, she liked that. She liked how rare his expressions were, it made them almost special.

_And then there's that little half-smile thing he does… Damn, I love that. I love that I can provoke that in him. Still, it would be something to see him smile for real… Wait, is he –_

She leaned forward, and her suspicions were confirmed – her lieutenant was snoring lightly. She grinned.

_Fuck, that's cute. Makes me wish I had a camera. Now, what to do with him? I certainly can't leave him here, and he's already been nice enough to return me home once, so I suppose I get to return the favour._

She gently poked his shoulder, only to get a slurred and yet somehow precise, "Grimmjow, I will kill you. I mean it this time."

Stifling a giggle, Nel poked him again. "I'm not Grimmjow. C'mon, time to get up."

That voice was all too familiar to Ulquiorra. _This cannot be happening. Please, tell me I'm having yet another of those dreams, and that Neliel has not just found me passed out in the street. _He opened one eye, only to look into the pair of deep grey orbs that he had been trying to get out of his head for far too long now. _Not dreaming then. Why me?_

He didn't look happy at all, Nel thought, but then, being caught drunk by your captain would do that to most people.

"For the record, this is all Grimmjow's fault."

"I'm sure it is", Nel replied, hoping he was too drunk to notice how close she was to just collapsing in the street laughing. "You know, this makes me feel so much better about you having to carry me home the other night", she added as he struggled to his feet. He turned to her with a very odd expression.

"Neliel, unfortunately the effects of drinking alcohol have rendered me unable to tell the difference between raising my eyebrow and raising my upper lip but, just in case there is confusion, I'm currently looking at you with a mixture of disdain and reproach."

She grinned. "I appreciate the clarification. Now come on, time to get you somewhere where you can pass out without potential mortification later."

"And here I was thinking that my mortification potential had been reached", he grumbled as he lurched down the street, occasionally using the walls for support.

It was a struggle, but they made it to Ulquiorra's quarters without any disasters, for which Ulquiorra was profoundly grateful. The walk home had even been slightly comforting, as he'd listened to Neliel talk about an incident involving dinosaur spotting and the hazards of a drink called tequila and tried to focus on walking in a straight line. It would probably have been easier without her presence. She kept biting her lip to stop herself from laughing at him as he stumbled, and it was drawing his attention to her mouth when it should have been focussed on where he was putting his feet. She really did have a beautiful mouth, he couldn't help but think, with those soft, full lips and the way they curved so easily into a smile. That was another thing he didn't like about alcohol – it was harder to control his thoughts and he found them fixed on her with no intention of moving. He should have been glad when he arrived home, it meant that they could go their separate ways, but as he fumbled for his keys he felt that strange mixture of confusion and longing that always seemed to herald her departure. She was all too quick to notice when his mood changed.

"You ok?"

"Well, I did spend an evening with Grimmjow, only to end up drunk and having divulged things I would rather have remained secret thanks to a drinking game, and then, to top off my evening of merriment, I passed out in the street and was found by my captain. All things considered, I'm fine." He finally fitted the key into the lock and let himself in. "Thank you for getting me home."

"Not so fast", Nel admonished with a grin. "I want to be sure you don't just pass out on the floor as soon as you get in, never mind the part where I owe you some coffee supplies."

Ulquiorra raised what he sincerely hoped was an eyebrow. "Very well. Excuse me if I don't show you around, I have a comfortable flat surface to embrace."

She laughed and walked into the kitchen. Ulquiorra gazed after her, shook his head and tried to remember where his bedroom was.

_Is it just the alcohol, or is it far too warm in here? I had best remedy that…_

xXx

Ten minutes later, Nel was still staring at Ulquiorra's kitchen.

_Well, he has coffee, plenty of food and shows no signs of being likely to choke on his own vomit. You've officially run out of excuses to stay, Nel. Kami, I'm worse than the idiots in our division who spend their time trying to follow him around. At least they can keep their distance and know when to quit. Me, I'm in his kitchen, trying to think up reasons not to leave._

_I am such a tool._

She sighed and rested her head against the wall.

_Time to get out before you humiliate yourself._

"You're still here? I thought you would have let yourself out."

Nel turned around to reply, only to feel the words die on her tongue as she took in the sight of a very sleepy, very drunk and **very** shirtless Ulquiorra standing in the doorway.

_Breathe. Just breathe. Ok, stop staring, and then breathe. Oh Kami, no one should look that good_.

She had known that he was strong, that he was attractive and that he drew her in, in a way that no one else ever had. That still didn't prepare her for the sheer heat flooding her as she took in the expanse of pale, defined chest suddenly exposed to her. The black four tattooed on his side caught her attention, and she wondered - would he react if she traced the path inked on his skin? What would it be like to feel him underneath her fingertips…

Her eyes had become almost silver, an expression in them that he couldn't read, and he suddenly felt as though his world had contracted and that they were all that existed. Every trace of the desire for her that he had suppressed and hidden from seemed to slam into him anew, leaving him breathless as he stared at her.

_I didn't… I didn't think I was capable of this. I want her. I want her so badly it aches to be here and not touch, not reach out. I always thought people were crazy, to act on a feeling as ridiculous as this, but it consumes. There isn't anything else left, all I can do is want – no – **need** her._

He was still staring at her, she realised.

_Kami, I probably look deranged. I need to get out before I do something stupid._

She stepped forward only to realise that, with him in the doorway, she was now only inches away from him. She looked up, grey eyes met green, and everything seemed to go very still. Desperate for a distraction, she broke the silence.

"Uh, well, you have plenty of coffee."

"I know." He paused. "All the same thank you, Neliel."

"Are you ever going to call me Nel?"

He smiled his almost-smile. "No. Do you really mind?"

"No."

They fell back to staring at one another, Ulquiorra's mind racing.

_I'm drunk, I'm not thinking clearly. It is a bad idea to remain near her. It is an even worse idea to kiss her. It is an atrocious idea to ravish her in my kitchen. However, it seems like these are the only ideas I've got. I should move away, but there's something in her expression that keeps me here…_

It was definitely time to get out before she did something stupid. _Like jump my inebriated lieutenant._

"Uh, good night then. I'll see you on Monday. I left Ran's hangover recipe on the counter, so that should help you tomorrow. I'll, uh, show myself out."

And with that she was gone. Ulquiorra blinked.

_For a second, this feeling seemed almost… mutual._

_What am I thinking? Even if I am correct in such a ridiculous assumption, that is not the point of my friendship with Neliel. I am trying to rid myself of this, not encourage it, no matter how tempting it may be to do otherwise._

_Besides, I am drunk. I probably imagined whatever it was I thought I saw, like that occurrence Neliel was telling me about with some sort of pterosaur._

_It doesn't matter anyway. I have to stop dwelling on this_.

He finally removed himself from the kitchen doorway, and staggered toward his bed.

_I desperately need sleep. I can think this over in the morning._

_Still, I wonder what it would be like if it were mutual…_

Shaking his head at his wayward thoughts he collapsed into bed, his last coherent mental image of a beautiful green-haired woman whose grey eyes turned silver before his arm snaked around her waist and pulled her close.

_Definitely all Grimmjow's fault._


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, there would be an episode devoted to the time when Gin took photos of Grimmjow in his release form and posted them on lolcats.**

**Actually, if someone can make me an icon like that… I'm thinking along the lines of "I'm in ur Karakura town, nomming ur soles" or "I is in ur Sereitay, hunting for Strawberrie." Hehehe… Awesome-zoars.**

**Listening to: The Bravery – 'Split Me Wide Open.'**

Chapter 11

There were few forces on this earth that could strike fear into almost any creature, be they soul reaper, vizard or arrancar. The Hougyoku came close. Ichigo Kurosaki in his hollow form was a contender. But nothing quite compared to the sheer mind-numbing terror inspired by the knowledge that the SWA were looking for a new project, Yachiru at the helm. Unfortunately, it appeared that everyone's worst fear had come to pass…

"Damn it, we need _something_ to put in the newsletter! There's only so many of Glasses Lady's tips on how to subdue your captain that we can print", Yachiru burst out.

"Why? What's wrong with them?" Nanao looked decidedly confused.

"Well, they work for you, and most of them would work for anyone, but there were a couple that would get anyone who wasn't in a relationship with their captain court-martialled", Isane put delicately as her sister nodded beside her.

"Or at least fighting off sexual harassment charges", Kiyone added for good measure.

Nanao blushed. "Some of those may have been written after the paperwork bonfire incident."

"That explains a lot", Soi Fon drawled.

"Ladies, not the point!" Yachiru may have grown up physically but she was every bit as impatient as she had been in her more immature form. "We're supposed to go to print on the weekend and we're still a feature short."

"I still think we should print my article on where to shop in the living world", grumbled Rangiku.

"We can't", replied Nanao, "it could potentially be seen as encouraging truancy."

"I wasn't AWOL, I was researching! My leave form got lost, I swear!"

"Wasn't that the time you ran off with Captain Hitsugaya's Visa?" Nemu queried.

"I returned it", Ran pouted, and turned to the woman who was dozing off next to her. "C'mon Nel, help me out here."

Nel opened one eye and rolled it. "Please, you deserve this. Aren't you still paying him back?"

"Some friend you are. Lies! All lies!" Ran groaned to her bemused audience, a hand over her heart, before turning back to Nel. "Totally worth it", she whispered, as Nel tried not to laugh.

"Still not the point!" Yachiru banged the hilt of her zanpakto down on the table, causing everyone to jump. Captain Unohana sighed. "I had a feeling that taking away your gavel would be a pointless exercise."

"No shit. Look, this is our first post-war issue and I want us to come back with a bang. A Ken-chan sized bang. Now - ideas. Hit me."

There was complete silence and stillness around the table, apart from Nemu as she raised her right hand in a fist, looking at Yachiru confusedly, until Rukia next to her grabbed her arm and shook her head.

"Well", Momo began thoughtfully, "what were our most popular issues about? What did they feature?"

"Men", was the unanimous response.

"Uh, I was hoping for an answer that was a little more specific", Momo clarified.

"Wait", Yachiru said, "you have a point. Glasses Lady, what were the most popular issues that you can remember?"

Adjusting her glasses, Nanao considered this. "That would probably be the series we did interviewing the male captains and lieutenants of the Gotei 13. We had to reprint a few times for those."

"Awesome! We can re-visit that. A 'Where are they now?' kind of thing." Yachiru sounded relieved.

"One problem", Nanao pointed out, "the answer to that question for a lot of them is 'dead'."

"Or rotting away in their Hueco Mundo sand graves, rat-bastard traitors that they are", Momo added, as everyone turned to stare at her. There was an awkward pause.

"Uh, my therapist says I still have a lot of rage." Momo continued, blushing.

"Oh, I hear ya." Ran muttered.

"Ok, so that probably isn't something we want to delve into, I get it", Yachiru sighed.

"It was a good idea", Rukia commiserated.

"It still is", Rangiku added, her eyes lighting up, "we just need different interview subjects. I mean, c'mon girls, we have three brand new ex-Espada lieutenants running around, still largely a mystery to anyone who isn't in their squads. The public wants to know."

Soi Fon raised an eyebrow. "That's actually a decent idea. Doesn't Lieutenant Schiffer already have a fan club of sorts? They would all purchase this issue for that reason alone."

"Ugh, don't remind me." Nel muttered, "They follow him around everywhere. It's ridiculous."

_Almost as ridiculous as the part where I want to follow him around everywhere. Damn it, I've let this crush or infatuation or whatever the hell it is get out of hand. Stupid Ulquiorra and his stupid shirt that should have stayed on and his stupid kitchen and his stupid sexy half-smile and his stupid – _

"Uh Nel, you still with us?" Ran nudged her. "We're working out who would interview who."

"I'm good. Really."

The beautiful lieutenant looked Nel up and down, a smirk on her face. "Back to thinking about him without a shirt?"

"Shut up. I should never have told you."

"I'll say."

"Oi, attention here!" Yachiru motioned to herself. "Ok, so we need to interview Emo Kid, Big Blue and Mopey-chan."

"Lieutenants Schiffer, Jeagerjacques and uh, Stark." Nanao translated.

"That's what I said", Yachiru grumbled. "Anyway, I'll talk to Mopey-chan. I see him when I go to Byakushi's all the time and he says he can actually be bothered talking to me."

"Sounds like a charmer", Rukia uttered dryly.

"Nah, he just appreciates his naptime."

"He wouldn't be the first", Nanao scowled.

"Anyway, Ninja Girl, you wanna talk to Big Blue?" Yachiru queried.

With a withering glare Soi Fon shook her head. "I have to spend enough time with the insolent, arrogant man-child as it is. I refuse to be forced into speaking with him unless it is absolutely necessary."

"Ouch", muttered Ran, as Nel regarded her curiously, "he's not going to like that."

"Why would he even care what his captain thinks? He's not exactly the slavishly loyal type." Nel considered this further. "Or the loyal type in general."

"Uh, it's a long story." Ran whispered back evasively.

Nel raised an eyebrow. "I've got time."

"Nuh-uh, I've been sworn to secrecy. Drunken secrecy, the most sacred kind of all." Ran grinned.

"Of course", Nel rolled her eyes, " and how could I possibly expect you to violate something as sanctified as drunken secrecy? I take it you have now added Grimmjow to the ranks of your male drinking buddies. Have you ever considered being sober for the day as part of a thank you for your liver?"

Ran smiled the hazy smile of a woman reminiscing. "I did. I took a day off, but the poor girl had withdrawal symptoms, so that didn't last. Nah, Myrtle does her best work under pressure."

"You named your liver Myrtle?"

"I wanted her to feel appreciated. I was also drunk at the time."

"I'd like to say that that additional piece of information helps make sense of the whole thing, but I just can't."

It was then that it occurred to the two friends that the rest of the room had gone very quiet. They turned to find a room full of amused-looking Shinigami (with the exception of a livid Yachiru) staring at them. Yachiru let out a deep breath (she'd been trying the 'count to ten, then launch' method of keeping calm this week) and smiled suddenly, sending shivers down Nel and Ran's respective spines.

"Looks like we've got ourselves volunteers for the other two interviews. I'll let you choose who talks to who."

Ran opened her mouth to protest, before Nel clamped her own hand over it. "Of course Madam President." Sometimes it was better to go with the flow.

_Especially considering that arguing with the flow will lead to untold amounts of violence and calls for assistance from Ken-chan. Great. Now I have to conduct an interview with Ulquiorra. I mean, I could let Ran do it, but Kami only knows what she'd say to him. Oh well, at least he'll be wearing a shirt for this, that'll be a hell of a lot less distracting… _

_I refuse to be disappointed by the fact he'll be appropriately clothed. Damn it._

Clearing her throat, Nel kept her hand over Ran's mouth as she replied, "I'd be happy to interview my lieutenant and Ran gets along great with Grimmjow, so she'll be fine with interviewing him." Nel turned to fix a glare on Ran as she released her mouth. "Won't you, Ran?"

When one of your closest friends looked at you like that, you disagreed at your own peril, Ran decided. _Besides, while it would be fun to talk to Ulquiorra, it's even more fun to force them into each other's company and let the awkwardness and sparks commence. _

"Yep, sounds good to me. So, what are we asking?"

xXx

It was now four days since _the_ _incident_ in his kitchen, as Ulquiorra was now referring to it mentally, which made it three days since he'd woken up in excruciating pain and with an urge to kill Grimmjow that was stronger than usual. He'd spent the remainder of the weekend sleeping it off, with occasional trips to the aforementioned kitchen to make and drink copious quantities of the hangover cure that his captain had prescribed. Which brought him to his other problem – Neliel.

Ulquiorra had come away from that night with several things – a blinding hangover, a firmly entrenched dislike of drinking games and also the knowledge that his feelings for Neliel were getting far too strong for his liking. Not that he'd ever liked having those feelings in the first place, but right now that was beside the point. It was one thing to be attracted to your captain – it was a fairly common problem judging from what he'd found out about Grimmjow and Captain Abarai. It was entirely another to crave their company, to dream of them every night, to be unable to think clearly around them or worse – to be unable to think clearly about anything but them.

Sorting through his paperwork with a faint frown on his face as he sensed a reiatsu he knew almost as well as his own now, heralding the approach of the woman who was the cause of all this.

_And yet, it never occurs to me to blame her. How could I? After all, it is hardly her fault that I feel this way and she would be the first to let me down gently if she did find out._

Ignoring the part of his brain that wanted to remember the way she had looked at him during _the incident_, he turned back to the forms in front of him.

_I was drunk and I'm hardly an unbiased observer. There is no reason to believe that there was anything worth noting in her expression. Yes, she has been very kind and welcoming toward me, but that is typical Neliel – she's that way with everyone. I am hardly the sort of person who would attract her attention in that respect anyway. No, she would be interested in someone more… outgoing, I suppose. The sort of people she gets along with. Someone more like that idiot Kurosaki. Or Grimmjow. People I find myself struggling not to do physical harm to. Certainly no one like me._

Scowling, he grabbed another form from the stack.

_This is absurd. I refuse to continue pursuing this train of thought. I want to stop having these feelings, not encourage their reciprocation. _

_I refuse to be jealous of Grimmjow. _

xXx

Nel entered her office, flashed a brief smile at Ulquiorra only to return to the task at hand – sorting out the genuine questions submitted for the interview and removing the 'questions' Rangiku had added to the bunch to embarrass her. After fishing out the tenth incredibly suggestive offering her eyes widened and she emitted a small squeak before pointing her finger at the offending card and emitting a small blast of cero to incinerate it.

_Ran, I will kill you. 'Is it hot in here, or is that just you?' is NOT a legitimate interview question. Neither is 'Your place or mine?' or any queries about the size of ANYTHING that is a part of his anatomy. _

Her agitation had drawn Ulquiorra's attention. Actually, if he were honest with himself, her very presence had drawn his attention, but it was comforting to have an excuse as back up. She realised he was watching her and looked up, giving him a tentative smile. "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?"

He looked slightly curious. "How bad, and how good?"

"The SWA is involved."

"Ah. You just had the meeting, didn't you? Very well, get the bad news over with."

"They want to interview you today."

"I see." He considered this. "Refusal really is not an option, is it?" Her look said it all. "I thought not. In that case, who is my interviewer?"

"That would be the good news. I mean, comparatively good news anyway. I'm interviewing you."

"Indeed." He didn't look anywhere near as grateful as he should.

"Let's put it this way, if I hadn't agreed it would be Ran, and trust me, you don't want to answer her questions."

"Too personal?"

"Too personal, too suggestive and too disturbing."

"Ah. Would that be why there is a tape measure in the pile of questions?"

Blushing furiously, Nel removed the offending object and disposed of it. _That does it - she is so very, very dead._

"I don't want to know about the question that accompanied that prop, do I?" He had a fairly good idea, especially given the extraordinarily rosy colour of her cheeks that had deepened as he spoke, but it was still rather fun to tease her so. Yes, Ulquiorra thought firmly, he was doing this because he enjoyed it. It had absolutely to do with how much more endearing he found her when she blushed. Not that he found her endearing in the first place. "In any case, should you not begin the questioning?"

She shot him a glare. "Fine. Ok, first one – what is your favourite alcoholic beverage?"

That one was easy. "None."

"Really? You could've fooled me last weekend." It was probably cruel to tease him, but infinitely worth it for the very attractive glare he threw her.

"Let's just say the next morning was lesson enough. I had no idea that bright sunshine could cause me such pain."

Stifling a giggle, Nel picked up the next question card. "Favourite food."

Ulquiorra considered this. "Pop corn."

Nel looked at him with an expression of disbelief. "Are you just fucking with me?"

"Somehow I doubt that that is actually the next question in the stack, but just in case it is – maybe." Teasing her really didn't get old.

She laughed. "Damn it, how do you do that with a straight face?"

"Grimmjow would tell you that it's because I don't have any other type of face. No, I'm paraphrasing. Grimmjow would tell you that I'm a fucking expressionless little bastard. Next question."

"You do a remarkable good Grimmjow impersonation. I guess you must have more in common than you thought." If anything was going to get a reaction, she knew that would.

"Now that's a low blow, Neliel. I thought better of you." His lips were almost curling into a smile.

"You'll live", she replied dryly. "Alright, next on the list – why did you change sides during the war?"

Silence greeted this, and what traces of a smile had been appearing on his face vanished. Ulquiorra cleared his throat. "That's an abrupt change of topic."

Nel was cursing herself for not having the time to read all the questions through and instead focusing on throwing out all the ones with Rangiku's handwriting. "I'm sorry, they just sort of brainstormed and then handed me all these. I didn't get to really go through them. You don't have to answer that, I'll find another - "

He cut her off. "I don't mind answering. I'm just not sure what to say." He sighed and looked out of the window, his green eyes troubled.

As much as she wanted to take the question back, Nel's curiosity was getting the better of her. It also bothered her that she'd never thought to ask for herself. He was, after all, a member of his division, and she'd always considered it a part of her job to get an idea of the backgrounds of all her squad members. It occurred to her just how much of a mystery he was to her, which seemed at odds with how comfortable she felt around him. _Oh, I might as well face it, not a lot makes sense to me when it comes to him._

He turned back to her abruptly, his eyes troubled. "I suppose it was Orihime's capture and imprisonment that precipitated things. I was her jailor and spent the most time with her. I started seeing things through her eyes, as they say. Or rather, seeing us. The Espada, Aizen and his war. It was cruel, her imprisonment. Not physically, but she was singled out because of her weakness and that is her greatest insecurity. Aizen deliberately played on that, and it hurt her. In the end I saw that the one who had created me was no God, but an essentially selfish, manipulative being with a God complex and I wanted to pay him back for the years of service he'd extracted from me when he really had no right to."

He took a deep breath and looked up to find her eyes fixed on him, drinking in every word. He let it out and continued. "Grimmjow, of all people, actually was the one to put a name to what I was feeling. He was in Orihime's care at the time, so he became involved and things just… spiralled from there. Orihime and I did most of the planning. Grimmjow preferred to provide brute force. If we'd left it up to him he would have tried to blast his way out while yelling 'So long, fuckers' at the top of his lungs. So we left by stealth."

Nel smiled slightly. "And then I found you."

"You did." Their eyes met and Nel felt her as though her heart was actually beating faster. _This isn't just a crush anymore. I don't know when it happened, but whatever this is turning into has become more than physical. _

She looked away and let out a sigh. _Not that it matters. It just makes the whole one-sided thing even worse. _

He was looking at her still, a curious expression on his face. "How about a story for a story?"

This jolted her out of her reverie. "What? Ah… Ok, what do you want to know?"

"How did you get here?"

Her eyes had clouded over, the way they did when something bothered her, only more so. "I guess the story starts when Nnoitra and Szayel attacked me. Nnoitra and I had always had our differences – he resented me. He believed I didn't deserve my rank and… well, you met him. You would have had to sit through at least one diatribe about 'useless fucking women'. They attacked me from behind, removed the masks of my Fraccion and then damaged mine." She smiled sadly. "The fourth helped heal me up, but I still have the scar." She pushed her fringe away from her forehead, revealing a pale line that extended from the edge of her mask to the bridge of her nose.

"I never noticed." Ulquiorra was seething. _Jiruga is lucky that Kenpachi already killed him. If he were in my power… _This train of thought was not constructive and he felt the need to add something to the conversation. "It suits you."

Her smile turned wry at that. "No need to be polite."

"I'm not being polite, I'm being honest." It did suit her, drawing attention to her delicate-looking nose and those large grey eyes of hers.

Something flashed across his face that she couldn't define. Shrugging it off, she continued her story. "Ichigo found me and the others. We followed him around, probably annoying the shit out of him, until we ran into Nnoitra again. Poor Ichigo had a heart attack when I transformed and fought. I couldn't hold onto one form though, I kept changing. After we all pulled back to the Soul Society, Ichigo took me in to the Fourth and they worked their magic. That was that, we fought for them all through the remainder of the war. The rest you know."

Ulquiorra considered this. "What about your Fraccion?"

The stricken look on her face answered this. "The final battle… they - " she broke off.

"I'm sorry, Neliel." _Sorry it happened, sorry I asked, sorry I reopened the wound, just please stop looking so miserable. I hate seeing her like this, it's not right. _

She smiled sadly back at him. "It's just that they took care of me when I needed it. I should have been able to do the same for them."

"Orihime once told me that some things were inevitable and could not be prevented, no matter what actions you took in order to alter the course of events." He paused. "Of course, she also told me that if life were a romantic comedy, Grimmjow and I would get together in the end, so not every theory she has holds up, but the essential point remains. You cannot save everyone. Sometimes it has to be that way."

"Thank you", she said softly, staring down at the papers in her hands before exhaling and lifting her head once more, her customary gentle smile back in place. "You and Grimmjow?"

"Never going to happen."

"You know, the next question in here concerns your sexual orientation…"

"Very well. My sexual orientation is 'Not Grimmjow'."

She giggled. "That leaves it a little too open to interpretation, don't you think? Our tenth seat will think he has a chance."

Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes. "You are not funny. Fine. I like women."

She grinned. "Narrow it down."

"What?" This could not be good. "How exactly do you want me to do that? Is that even a legitimate question, or is it one of Lieutenant Matsumoto's?"

"Nope, it's for real." Nel held up the card, a vision of pure mischief. "So spill. What kind of women?"

He fixed her with an almost sly look. "Not telling."

Her heart seemed to speed up again. "Does that mean there is someone?"

She was getting to close for comfort with these questions. He couldn't think straight. "No, it means I didn't think you'd allow 'Not Grimmjow' as an answer a second time."

He was definitely getting uncomfortable, and something told Nel not to press the matter further. "All right, I'll try and find questions that don't appear to have been written by the fan club."

The corner of his mouth twitched into that almost-smile she loved. "Much appreciated."

"So, how do you brush your hair?"

xXx

**Tehehe, that last line is from LavenderSkies story 'Searching'. Do check it out. I'm not even an Ulquihime fan and I liked it, and the semi-sequel 'Glimpses' has a Grimmjow that is the very definition of awesome. Will try to put the next one up soon. R and R kiddies!**

**Pip pip!**


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Ok, seriously? Not mine. Duh.**

**Listening to: The Vines – 'Homesick'. I'd recommend you check the video out because Craig Nichols looking smexy in an overcoat is pretty much how I picture Ulquiorra (Only with black hair and green eyes, obviously). And also less stoned. Other than that, hotness. Pure, unadulterated hotness.**

**R and R people. Uh, Please?**

Chapter 12

It had been a fairly uneventful couple of weeks, with the exception of a re-seating tournament, until a captain's meeting was called with a suddenness that had Nel looking slightly alarmed. Covering her shock with a hasty smile, she briskly left Ulquiorra alone in the office, sorting through the training rosters and his own thoughts as they centred themselves on their favourite topic, his captain.

He had not expected what he'd felt to last. It had alarmed him because of the sheer _wrongness _of a hollow actually feeling, and had only continued to bother him when it showed no sign of dissipating. But Orihime's blunt questioning (why shouldn't he feel, after all?) and the way what he felt had strengthened had him reconsidering his position. This wasn't going away any time soon, that much was all too clear. More curiously, he found he didn't even seem to mind.

_It is time I faced up to it. As Orihime told me that night – I like Neliel. I like her. I like her laugh, and her smile, and the way her eyes light up, and the way she's careful to consider everyone's feelings, and her quick wit. I even like the things I shouldn't, like her complete inability to do paperwork or the way she teases me. The simple fact of the matter is – I like Neliel._

_So what the fuck do I do now?_

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he was interrupted by the arrival of the ex-ninth seat (now third seat), Maiko. A quizzical expression on her face, she regarded him. "You ok there? I can never tell if you're in pain or having a 'deep thought' moment."

Grimacing, he turned to her. "I'm fine, Third Seat Yukaya. I take it you have last week's budget?"

Sauntering into the room she placed it on his desk and sat down across from him. "Sure do. How goes it? Nel out?"

"Hmmm? Oh yes, Neliel has been called to a captain's meeting."

"Really? That's odd, it isn't the day for it. Anyway, you still calling her Neliel? I thought you two were friends an' all?"

He and Neliel had been spending a lot of time together, although he had been cautious to do this when other people were around. It was becoming too much of a temptation to be around her when they were on their own, even when it was within the confines of the office. His imagination, which ran riot at the best of times these days, seemed to go into overdrive, and all he could think of was what it would be like to kiss her and find out how she tasted, to bite at that beautiful, pale throat, to throw her on the desk and –

"Oi, Lieutenant? You still with me?"

"Yes!" He replied far too abruptly. "Ah, what were you saying?"

With an expression on her face that was far too smug for comfort, Maiko repeated, "Why do you call her Neliel?"

Now that was a good question. It had been a matter of respect at first, but he really had no cause to do that now that they had become close. There was a second reason, but whether he wanted to divulge it…

"No particular reason."

"Uh huh."

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow at her tone. "I didn't think it was possible to load so much sarcasm on such a small noise."

"What can I say? I have mastered the art of saying 'bullshit' without actually saying it. Plus I practiced in the hall before I came in. So, come on. Real answer. It won't go any further than here."

He starting to feel flustered, of all things. "Ignoring this question will only lead to you forming your own insane theories, won't it?" He'd spent enough time with her to get an idea of what he was in for.

"Hells to the yeah!" She replied with a rabid grin. "C'mon, what's the big deal?"

He sighed. "Nothing. I just think that it's a beautiful name. It suits her."

Maiko raised an eyebrow as her smile widened. "Riiiight. And it suits her because she's beautiful herself?"

His face felt far too hot. "You are putting words into my mouth."

"And you're blushing. Somehow I don't think I'm deviating from the truth."

He fixed her with a stern glare. "You tell anyone - "

"Yeah, yeah. Death will be too good for me. Or it that just a Grimmjow threat?"

"Does this conversation have a point?"

"Kind of. I'm trying to figure out which speech I should give you – the 'hurt her and I'll kill you' one, or the 'tell her how you feel, you moron' one."

"Well, you can rest assured in the knowledge that neither situation is on the cards. Now, out. I have paperwork to do."

Grinning, she slipped out of the chair and headed toward the door, shaking her head as she went. "Kami, you're both completely oblivious. You really are perfect for each other."

"Out."

"Going." Shutting the door behind her, she left Ulquiorra with the paperwork, desperately trying to not think about what she had said.

_It is very clear that she thinks I should pursue some sort of relationship with Neliel, but how would I even start? I have absolutely no idea how I would conduct myself in such a relationship, and only a vague inkling of what one actually entails. I just… I don't know. I want to be there beside her, but I don't know how to get there, let alone if she would even want me around. She seems to enjoy my company, but I'm her lieutenant. She's stuck with me._

_I can't believe I'm actually considering this. Me, of all people. Oh well, Orihime did once say that love makes people do strange things._

He froze, as he realised the word he had just used unintentionally.

_Oh no. No. No, no and hell no. It had NOT gone that far. It hasn't. I am not in – No. I like her. That is it. 'Like' is less concrete, less certain. 'Like' will probably go away once it is clear she is not interested. That is all this is._

He turned back to the documents on his desk, determined to lose himself in something that was simultaneously less confusing and far lass alarming.

xXx

Outside, Maiko was met by a buxom strawberry blonde and a very conspicuous figure with blue hair who turned to her and asked with a smirk, "So, how'd it go?"

"Yeah, did you get to talk to him?" Rangiku jumped up and down with excitement as Maiko and Grimmjow tried not to stare.

"Guys, calm down", Maiko grinned, "operation 'plant the seed' is complete. You now owe me three bottles of sake."

Grimmjow looked at Ran. "C'mon, pay up."

"I still don't see why it all had to come out of my stash", she grumbled as she handed the bottles over.

Maiko took the sake with a smile. "Cheers. Pleasure doing business with you. Do keep me in mind if you require further assistance, I could always use an extra drink."

"Who could use an extra drink?" They all sprang apart and turned to Nel, who stood behind them looking amused at first, and then a little concerned and suspicious. "Well, you've all mastered the art of looking like you're up to something. Care to share?"

All three of them looked simultaneously guilty and smug. This was never a good combination. "Right, you won't talk. But since it involves you, you and – dear Kami – you", Nel drawled as she pointed to Maiko, Grimmjow and Rangiku in turn, "I'm guessing the apocalypse is probably nigh, or some such. Just so you know, I'll be keeping an eye on all of you. Especially you, Ran."

At this, Rangiku pouted. "Awww, you still haven't forgiven me for the tape measure incident, have you?"

Nel's eyes narrowed. "Not even a little. To use Ulquiorra's favourite line – death is too good for you. I'll let you know when I think up an alternative. Now, speaking of Ulquiorra, has he left yet? I need to run something by him."

"Is that what kids are calling it these days?" Ran said with a grin.

A sudden surge in reiatsu and a very stern glare, both from Nel, shut Ran up. "Maiko, is he in?"

"Yep, I left him in the office about five minutes ago. What's up?"

"Just a mission they proposed during the captain's meeting. Ran, you probably want to head back in case Toushiro wants to talk to you about it."

"It's Captain Hitsugaya, damn it!"

"You do that imitation far too well. It's kinda scary." Grimmjow added, shaking his head.

"Years of practice." Ran tossed her head. "Fine, I guess I'd better be going."

"Good", muttered Nel, "I'll be watching you."

"Yeah, yeah." With a wave of her hand Ran walked off. Nel scowled at her back before turning to the other two. "I'll be watching you, too", she muttered as she strode inside.

Grimmjow let out as sigh as Maiko turned to follow her captain. "Damn. For a few seconds there I was hoping to witness a girl fight. That woulda been awesome."

Maiko patted his arm sympathetically. "I hear you man. I hear you."

xXx

Ulquiorra looked up to find Neliel standing at the doorway of the office, leaning on the frame with her eyes closed, and found that he couldn't keep the concern from his voice. "Are you alright?"

She opened her eyes and smiled back. "Mmm, I'm fine. Just a little sleepy. It was an interesting captain's meeting, so I couldn't nap through it like I normally do."

"And what a dreadful loss that must have been. Do go on", Ulquiorra drawled as she walked in and took a seat at her desk.

"It's about Karakura, Ichigo's hometown. You would have been there once or twice. Well, there have been reports that big nasties have been moving in now that he's crossed over to full-time soul reaper work."

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow. "Big nasties?"

"A general influx of hollows, a few menos, an adjucas or two. What's really getting to them, though, is the rumour of a vasto lorde. The officers on patrol are hardly up for that."

"Big nasties indeed." Ulquiorra looked thoughtful. "So, what is the plan? Do we even have one?"

Nel smiled. "They want to send a captain and lieutenant pair into the living world to take up temporary stations and assess what's happening. I was wondering if you'd be up for it?"

He looked at her, and half-smiled. "You want to go."

She smiled ruefully. "Well, yeah. I like the living world. It's good fun. Plus I want to get out there and take on… I don't know, something. The closest I get to fighting someone on my own level is playing tag with you. The division is well and truly back on its feet and I guess I just want to try something new. But I don't want to force you along if you don't want to go. Then again, I also didn't want to tell you how much I wanted to go so you'd end up feeling bad and going along with it." She sighed, and stared at the floor.

He stood up and walked over to her, placing two fingers under her chin and lifting it so that she faced him. Their eyes met as a true smile crept across his face and Nel felt her breath catch.

_I was right about how good his smile would look._

Ulquiorra removed his hand from her skin and she wished she could make him put it back, until his next words forced her to attend to the matter at hand.

"Tell them we're in." He stepped back and left the office, his supposedly non-existent heart beating wildly as Nel stood there and watched him go a smile spreading over her features.

xXx

Two weeks later, as Ulquiorra emerged from an Urahara Shoten now run by two teenagers, he couldn't help but wonder if he would have said yes if he'd known what he was getting into. His experience with the living world had been strictly limited to missions under Aizen (ie. Going there to kill things and terrorize the general populace), and he wasn't quite sure how he was going to blend in. The gigai, however uncomfortable, was helpful but he felt strange without his tattoos and mask. The loss of the green tear tracks on his face wasn't off-putting, but it was odd to go without the gothic four on his chest that had defined him for so long, and similarly unusual to be able to feel the wind blowing through all of his hair. It was also a little bizarre seeing Neliel without her own helmet and marks and he watched her curiously as she kicked her way through the snow with her over-large boots, grimacing when the semi-frozen slush splashed up onto her jeans and huddling into her bulky grey wool coat. Her attention was currently on the map that Ururu had drawn her, as she navigated the path from the shop to the apartment that Jinta had hired for them on behalf of the Gotei 13, a slight frown on her face.

That was another thing he had not expected – the cold. Every feeling seemed to be magnified in the gigai, and he found himself very grateful for the long black overcoat the two young people had given him as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his black jeans, trying to navigate the slippery snow-covered pavement. Dusk was starting to fall and he had a feeling that the cold would only intensify as it got darker, making the search for the apartment a little more urgent. He gazed at his surroundings, looking for any changes to the world he had last seen when he was one of the Espada and was surprised to find none.

_It seems strange that I could have changed so, and yet the world around me stays static. For creatures as long-lived as we are, should it not be the other way around?_

He found his gaze caught by a group of young humans sitting outside a café, all of whom had the same too-pale skin and messy dark hair as he did. One of them nodded to him in some sort of recognition. Confused, he caught up to Neliel and asked her who they were. She took one look, and started laughing hysterically. Looking at her balefully, Ulquiorra queried, "Are you going to enlighten me or, at the very least, share the joke?"

Between bursts of laughter she got out the question, "Do you remember when I said I'd show you what emo kids were when we went to the living world?"

A small crease appeared between his brows as he tried to recall. "Vaguely."

She grinned, her laughter under control. "Well, you found them."

He turned to look back at the group only to find that they were watching him with interest, the females of the gathering slightly more than the others.

Nel let out another giggle. "You seem to get a fan club wherever you go, don't you?"

"I assure you, it is not intentional." He observed them until he and Neliel turned a corner and they were out of sight. It was then he felt he should point out what he felt was obvious. "Neliel?"

"Mmm?" She replied vaguely, her attention mostly given to the map.

"I am not a whiny adolescent in tight pants."

She smiled. "Take it up with Yachiru. She came up with the nickname, not me. Anyway, we're here."

He looked up to the towering apartment block. "Which floor?"

"Thirteenth. Should be a nice view - " She stopped as a pale flake fell from the sky to nestle in her hair. "Oh, it's starting to snow!" Her eyes lit up as she took in the clouds above them.

He delicately pulled the snowflake from her hair and held it in the palm of his gloved hand. "Indeed." He looked up as the heavens seemed to open, and hundreds of similar little flakes descended upon them both. He turned to her, only to see her standing there, face upturned and blissful with eyes closed as the snow brushed her face on its way to earth. His heart seemed to stop.

_I don't think I've ever seen anything more… beautiful._

Nel smiled as she felt the snow across her face. She'd missed this. The past year had been far too busy for her to take the time to enjoy winter, with the war and the division to take care of, but now…

_I'm free…_

She was broken out of her trance by someone taking her hand, and opened her eyes to find Ulquiorra staring at her, a small smile on his face and his hair speckled with the falling snow flakes. "We should go inside and get settled in before it gets too cold."

She sighed, knowing he was right, and turned to go in as he added, "You know, this place does have a balcony. As soon as we get checked in and up there you can continue communing with nature."

Her smile returned as she removed her hand from his to playfully smack him over the head, dislodging some of the snow that had made its home there. "Ha sodding ha. Fine then, lead the way."

"But of course", he replied, the mischief still evident in his eyes, if not his face, "whatever you wish Neliel."

"Damn straight. Now, let's roll, we have a new home to explore."

With a smile she walked past him into the building as he stared after her briefly, a faint smile on his face, until he shook his head and strode forward to catch up with her.

xXx

**Hey there all. Sorry if the chapters have been a little uneventful, but I can at least assure that the next few are anything but. Unfortunately, this means they take longer to write and, therefore, I will take longer to update, so please bear with me. **

**Anyway, hope you're all enjoying the story so far.**

**Pip pip!**


	14. Chapter 13

**Expected disclaimer is expected!**

**Yeah… not mine.**

**Listening to: Interpol – 'The New'. I had to work in at least one song from my favourite band now, didn't I?**

Chapter 13

Life in the small two-bedroom apartment had settled into a sort of routine over the two weeks they had been there. At six every morning, without fail, Ulquiorra would wake, dress and slip into the kitchen to start the coffee maker before grabbing something to eat and sitting out on the balcony, taking in the city as it slowly came to life. About ten minutes later, also without fail, Neliel would stumble into the kitchen half asleep and pick up the freshly made cup of coffee while mumbling something that sounded suitably grateful to Ulquiorra as she joined him out on the balcony, alternately talking and then drinking her delicious caffeine as she tried to shake off her sleepiness. After an hour or two, one of them would go to the Urahara Shoten to pick up more supplies and check with Jinta or Ururu to see if any further orders had come in.

So far no additions had been made to their original mission, with the exception of a few requests from Lieutenant Matsumoto, which she had wisely addressed solely to Nel. Nel had furiously written back on that occasion saying that she was not going to visit an adult store on Rangiku's behalf, she was certainly not going to visit one with Ulquiorra in tow for 'ideas' and that Ran had better keep her perverted mind on other topics or she would personally ensure the aforementioned mind was made a test subject for the Twelfth. This threat might not have had the same sting as it would have back when Mayuri Kurotsuchi was in charge, but Captain Urahara still had enough mad scientist in him to worry people. Nel incinerated the offending letter and desperately tried not to have the sort of 'ideas' Ran had insinuated. As much as she might have liked to blame Ran for what she was thinking, Nel knew all too well that she'd been having 'ideas' for some time now.

It was worse now that they were actually living together, even if it was entirely for work purposes. Everywhere she turned he was there, out on the balcony with her, in the kitchen attempting to put something together for dinner (she was a disaster when it came to cooking, so she left that part of the housework entirely to him), sitting beside her on the couch as she watched some inane daytime program (he would predict what was going to happen next in a very sarcastic tone and was nearly always right) and fighting by her side. And they fought well together, playing off each other's strengths and covering the weaknesses, the friendly competition spurring them on.

Their mission had so far been a success, with the two adjuchas who were preying on Karakura now destroyed and various menos and countless hollows dispatched. There was, however, no sign or rumour of the vasto lorde, which meant that they had to continue to keep an eye on things here. As far as Nel was concerned, she could stay here living with Ulquiorra forever. Having him this close was a form of torture and it only served to remind her that no matter how close they were he would still continue to hold her at arms length, considering her his captain and, at most, his friend, but she wouldn't give it up for anything.

_Which is just depressing, especially given how far my feelings for him are from 'friendly'._

With a sigh, Nel got up from the couch she had curled up on, and walked out to the balcony to stare at the night sky, trying not to fall asleep. Ulquiorra had left about half an hour before to take care of what Nel had started calling 'a disturbance in the force', as something with a reasonably strong reiatsu had emerged over the city. A faint smile crept across her face as she recalled his reaction to that line, an almost roll of his eyes and a request that she stop quoting the idiotic films she watched while they were in the human world. There was no need for her to still be up, just as there was no need for her to accompany him; he was more than capable. She could already feel the hostile creature's spirit energy fading as Ulquiorra's reiatsu slowly retreated, recognising victory. She just couldn't seem to stop herself waiting up for him, from missing him whenever he was out of her sight.

_I'm a fuckwit. Or a masochist. Or the mutant half-breed child of both… What would that be? A fuckwitist? Gah, I really should sleep._

With one final look at the stars she sighed and ran a hand through her hair, before returning inside to settle down on the couch and continue to wait for the owner of the now approaching reiatsu to arrive home, her eyes slipping shut for what she assured herself would be only a minute.

xXx

Ulquiorra slipped back into the apartment, with the intention of settling back into his gigai, and was greeted with the sight of Neliel huddled under a blanket on the couch indicating that she had, once again, waited up for him to return. It always seemed to strike him as strange, the way she did this. He knew that she was aware of how strong he was, so it wasn't as though she was worried about him. Of course, for him to be questioning her motives for depriving herself of sleep seemed to be a little hypocritical, as he had found himself doing the exact same thing. He may have been slightly too proud to hang about the door awaiting her return, but he did find the he had trouble sleeping until she was safely home and would often listen out as he lay in his bed, only able to finally fall asleep when he was assured she had come back unharmed.

And yet, he no longer minded the hold she had on him. Ulquiorra considered himself nothing if not a creature of reason, and knew that he had no one to blame but himself for how he felt, as much as it would have been nice to point the finger at someone else. Especially if that someone else were Grimmjow. On the other hand, when Ulquiorra had last spoken to the arrancar he refused to call friend, Grimmjow had been shooting very inaccurate cero at training targets and muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "Insolent, arrogant man-child, huh? I'll show her, the frigid little ninja bitch". After ten more minutes of hearing what was shaping up to be an epic monologue about "Captain Evil Fucking Midget", Ulquiorra had excused himself. Grimmjow was clearly having enough of his own captain/women troubles. As petty as it was, Ulquiorra had to admit that this was slightly comforting.

Shaking his head he walked forward to check on his slumbering captain, contemplating whether he should move her somewhere more comfortable like her own bed. He couldn't help but recall another night, one back in the Soul Society, where he had tried to do the same thing, a tiny smile on his face as he remembered how horrified he had been when he caught himself wanting to kiss her.

_It is interesting. What I want hasn't changed in the slightest, only strengthened, but I am no longer bothered by it. Instead, what bothers me now is that I will never get what I want. Neliel is beautiful, charming and vivacious. I… I am none of these things. There is no reason for her to even look twice at me, except for the fact that she is kind and goes out of her way to be a friend to all._

_I suppose I just have to learn to be content with that, and hope that eventually this feeling fades._

His smile turned sad as he regarded her, reaching forward to pull her blanket up further before her hand shot out and she blearily opened her eyes and groaned, "Fuck. I fell asleep, didn't I?"

He smirked a little. "At least this time it is not in a bar. If you want, I can give the official version as 'resting your eyes'."

She sat up, shaking the hair out of her face. "Hilarious. You and Maiko should form a stand-up comedy duo, take the show on the road." Throwing the blanket off she caught herself as she spotted a tear in the uniform he wore, a long rip at his side, revealing a bloody but shallow gash. "Shit, you're hurt!"

He looked down, taking in his injury. "Oh. Yes, I was going to see to that. There is no need to panic Neliel, it is not particularly bad."

She separated from her gigai. "C'mon, into the kitchen."

"Worried that I'll drip blood on the carpet? I assure you, it is not that concerning." He attempted to reassure Neliel as he followed her into their tiny kitchen. "Why have you assumed your normal form?"

She grimaced. "Because I can heal you this way."

He raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware you had healing abilities. How do they work?"

She had turned a very vivid shade of red and mumbled something inaudible. "Sorry Neliel, I didn't catch that."

She growled, and turned an even deeper shade of red. "You could at least try not to sound like you're about to laugh."

"True, I could." The quizzical expression on his face was quickly being tempered by a smirk. "Do go on."

"Fine. My spit has healing properties. This was so much less creepy when I was in child form. At least people kind of expected me to drool."

This was far too amusing to leave alone. "I see. So you plan to spit on me."

"At this rate, I'm planning to leave you to bleed to death", she grumbled, "but my better nature prevails. Unfortunately. Do you want to be healed or not?"

"Of course I do." His reply positively dripped sarcasm. "Doesn't everyone just wait for the day they get licked by their captain?" He stopped, a faint blush spreading over his cheeks. "That came out wrong."

Trying to ignore the directions her imagination was taking and how good he looked when he blushed, Nel managed to stutter out, "Obviously."

They both avoided each other's gaze, until Nel cleared her throat. "Uh, I should probably get back to healing that."

He was jolted out of his own thoughts by her words. _Well, wasn't that just the perfect time for a Freudian slip? I do not need to be thinking about her and her tongue, damn it. _He uttered an absent minded 'yes', and started to slip off the top of his uniform.

Nel tried not to stare. _I really should have thought this through before I suggested healing him myself. _Biting her lip, she focused on his injury, inspecting it to ensure it wasn't more serious than she had initially thought. Ulquiorra gritted his teeth as he felt her hands trail carefully and clinically over his skin, reminding himself to breathe. All thought of respiration fled his mind as he felt Nel remove her hands from his side before delicately licking the palm of her hand and placing it over his wound. He could feel the strange sensation of skin stretching that accompanied the healing of most battle wounds, and let out a small hiss as it stung. Nel grimaced. "Sorry."

He shook his head in response. "It's fine. In fact, it seems to be done."

She nodded and drew her hand back to reveal only a small scar that faded as they watched. "That's a relief." She had an expression on her face that caught his attention, one that he remembered from his disastrous drinking attempt. His heart seemed to stop as she leaned forward once more to gently trace her fingertips over the numeral tattooed on the side of his chest.

Nel heard the sharp intake of breath from the man in front of her and realised her mistake. _Shit! What the hell am I doing?_ About to remove her hand and desperately trying to think up an excuse that would get her out of this without completely humiliating herself, she was stopped when he placed his own hand on top of hers, all the while staring at her intently.

It was like that night in his kitchen, only so much more. She couldn't think as she stared at him in shock, surprised at her own actions and that he'd actually welcomed them. All she could do was return his gaze, and try to read the myriad of emotions in his eyes. They were both breathing unevenly as they watched each other intently, neither of them moving a muscle. Then, at exactly the same moment, they both snapped.

Lips collided, and Nel found herself being pushed back against the doorframe, her hands coiling around Ulquiorra and tracing smooth planes of his back as she met his kiss with her own, six months of concealed longing coming to the fore. Teasing, she bit his lower lip gently only to be rewarded with a growl as his arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her in closer, deepening the kiss and curling his other hand around the back of her neck. She moaned softly into the kiss as both their lips parted and they finally tasted each other. Suddenly they both broke apart, as if realising what it was they were actually doing for the first time.

Ulquiorra was panting, his eyes wide as he processed just what had happened, his arms still wrapped around Neliel. Neliel was bracing herself against the doorway, her fingertips pressed to her lips as they returned to watching each other. He leaned forward, brushing her bangs further away from her face and whispering softly, "This is probably not a good idea." After all, he could hardly be what she really wanted… Could he?

Nel brought her hand up to his chest, and returned to tracing his tattoo. "Right… a really, really… terrible idea…" Her hand slipped upward to cautiously trace the edge of the hollow hole on his throat, leaving him to gasp at the sudden rush of pleasure. She notices this and smiled wickedly, her eyes silver as she carefully raked her nails across the rim causing him to draw in shuddering breaths. "I think you like that." This got her another growl as Ulquiorra grabbed her hand and removed it from his skin, only to reach out and slide his own thumb around the opening at her throat, smirking as he felt her tremble. His voice was strangely breathless and huskier than usual as he replied, "I think you like that too, Neliel." She shivered at the way he said her name, drawing it out and savouring it. With a wicked smile that matched her own, he leaned into her throat and gently bit the edge of her hollow, grazing the inside with his teeth.

Her head tipped back to allow him access to her neck as she moaned and dug her nails into his back, shaking in his hold. She couldn't think, couldn't believe that this was real, that everything she'd been dreaming of for the last six months was finally happening. She could feel his hands on her body drawing her toward him, one on the small of her back carefully tracing the contours of her spine and the other reaching up to untie the sash of her uniform. She slid her own hands into his hair, pulled him away from her neck and kissed him fiercely once more.

Ulquiorra's head was spinning. It reminded him of being intoxicated, but even though his senses were strange and unfocused, somehow everything seemed more real, more potent. It was too much to wrap his mind around; he was kissing Neliel, touching her, listening to her make the noises that were driving him insane – hell – even undressing her. And she was right there with him, as her hands toyed with the waist of his hakama and he finally figured out how to remove the top of her uniform. It was definitely time to stop thinking.

Still smiling, Nel pulled away, slipping off her shirt as she did so and watching Ulquiorra's eyes widen slightly before surprise and shock was replaced by lust. He reached for her again, only to have her dart out of his way. Trying to get her breathing back under control, Nel shook her head. "Bed. Now."

A slow smile spread across his face as he caught hold of her, and with a flash of sonido they were in someone's bedroom (she didn't give a fuck whose) and he was on top of her, running his hands over her breasts as she arched up into him and closed her eyes, unable to prevent herself from letting out a low moan as his hands were followed with his mouth. Suddenly he stopped.

Terrified that this was going to end, Nel's eyes snapped open, only to take in a curious looking Ulquiorra.

"Neliel, where is your tattoo?"

Relieved, she laughed and sat up, piling the hair on her head to give him a full view of her back. She didn't expect what he did next.

Nel had no idea what she was doing, where this was going after tonight or anything that she probably would have considered relevant any other time. But the delicate way he kissed a path along the lines of her tattoo made her gasp as she considered that some of what she felt could be mutual. The second he reached the end of the giant gothic numeral, she turned on him and pushed him down, straddling him as he fell back onto the bed and kissing him as she slipped her hand down between them to stroke his clothed erection. He groaned softly, digging his fingers into her hips as she smirked and said, "The pants need to go."

He smirked right back. "Yours too. It's only fair, Neliel."

He drew her name out again and it sent shivers down her spine as they parted to undress completely only to collide once more, seconds later, revelling in the feeling of skin on skin as their lips met, Ulquiorra having reclaimed his place on top. Nel pushed him up and took him in, his pale skin gleaming in the moonlight, dark hair mussed under his mask and bright green eyes staring at her with a look of pure lust as he took in the view she had presented him with. Pulling further away he trailed his fingers over her breasts, her stomach, her hips and then –

The effect as his fingertips brushed her clit was electric. Nel cried out, her hands fisted in the bed sheets as she arched up, trying to take in the sheer pleasure of such a touch. Ulquiorra watched her reaction with wide eyes, before a slow, sensual smile crossed his lips. Before Nel could even think to ask him what he was doing, he had leaned forward and drawn his tongue carefully and deliberately across her sex.

She managed to untangle her hands from the sheets to fist them in his hair, but all other higher thoughts and functions were impossible as she lay there trembling and moaning while he teased her with his tongue and slipped a finger inside her. It was only a matter of a minute or two before her moans and gasps became more urgent and she felt her whole body shudder. Crying out his name, she felt her toes curl as she became blind to everything but Ulquiorra and what he was doing to her.

He could feel her trembling as he drew away, pulling himself up to stroke her hair. She looked… sated, there really was no other word for it, and all he wanted to do was keep making her feel that way. She, on the other hand, had decided to turn her attention to him. Reaching down, she carefully began to stroke him, her smile widening as his breathing became more erratic. Her other hand crept toward his hollow hole, but before it made contact he grabbed it and smiled at her, before shifting and settling himself between her legs. He leaned forward and kissed her, before whispering, "Is this what you want?"

Her answer was to take hold of him and guide him into her, gasping as she adjusted to his length. All Ulquiorra could do was go along with it, trying to control himself as he took in the feeling of being inside her. After a few moments of getting used to such a blissful feeling, she made a noise that clearly indicated she wanted more. Happy to oblige, Ulquiorra started to thrust into her, carefully at first, and then with less control as he started to lose himself.

This, Nel decided, was heaven. The intense feeling of being alternately filled and emptied was driving her toward a second orgasm, but it was the way that their limbs had entangled and she couldn't tell one from the other that was making her crazy. They were joined, they were one, and she loved every second of it. She could hear him whispering something softly as they moved together and it was only when she felt the beginning of her second orgasm that she realised it was her name on his lips.

He could feel her tremble around him, and as much as he had enjoyed giving her an orgasm with his tongue, nothing in any of the three worlds he had seen compared to feeling her come while he was inside her. All he could do was brace himself as his world went white and he felt himself come, shuddering and whispering her name to himself all the while.

They stayed still for a while, as Ulquiorra leaned forward to press his forehead against Neliel's, their eyes locked on one another. It was Ulquiorra who broke the silence, for once, whispering, "We should get some sleep", before sliding out of her and leaving the bed. For a moment, Nel was afraid that he thought the whole thing a mistake and that he was about to bolt, but before she could sit up she felt him return, drawing a blanket over the two of them as he lay down beside her, tentatively reaching an arm out to drape over her waist. A wide smile on her face, Nel curled up beside him and snuggled into his arms as his other hand came to rest on her cheek before brushing the hair out of her face. It was in that position that they drifted off into a deep and easy sleep, a smile of contentment lingering on both their faces.

xXx

**Wow. First lemon ever, so I hope I did ok. Do let me know if there's anything that needs correcting in that sense. Unless corrections involve too much information, in which case you can keep them to yourselves… *shudders***

**Anyway, I hope I got what I was aiming for, which was the middle ground between 'awww' and 'bow chika wow wow'. Anyway, stay tuned kiddies, 'coz it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings. **

**Except there are no fat ladies in Bleach.**

**Well, Mayuri's bankai in twenty years time, maybe… And now I am disturbed. Good night, interwebs!**


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, there would be an episode where Rukia discovered ByaRen fan fiction, decided that they were perfect for each other and enlisted the help of the SWA to get them together… Oh, the chaos that would ensue.**

**Listening to: The Red Paintings – 'Walls'.**

**R and R, y'all.**

Chapter 14

As Ulquiorra opened his eyes the next morning he realised that the reason he'd been having trouble breathing was that his face appeared to be embedded in a lot of wavy green hair. His second epiphany involved realising that the hair belonged to one Neliel Tu Oderschvank, who he was currently holding as she slept. A tiny smile flashed across his face as he recalled exactly what had got him there in the first place.

_Well, that was… unexpected, to say the least. But not unwelcome…_

Carefully sitting up, he removed his arm from around her waist and leaned forward to delicately brush her hair back from her face to behind her ears. She stirred, but did not wake, snuggling closer into her pillow with a contented smile on her face.

_No. Certainly not unwelcome. If anything, Orihime would point out that I'd finally learned to be happy. And she would be right. _

_I am actually happy._

His smile widened as he shifted away, not wanting to wake her. She looked so peaceful asleep; so calm in comparison to her usual animated self, and he found that he rather liked this side of her as well. Getting up, he located the clothing he had discarded the previous night and dressed quickly before walking toward the window, pulling back the curtain to reveal the sun slowly climbing above the horizon. He heard Neliel mumble something incoherent in her sleep as she changed her sleeping position, turned to check on her and stopped, his heart suddenly beating far too fast.

In the soft gold dawn light her skin seemed to glow almost rosy, in contrast to her cool, green hair as it spilled over the pillows. She was clutching the blanket so that it covered and clung to most of her top half, but the majority of her long, slim legs were left exposed. The sight was breathtakingly beautiful, Ulquiorra decided, before smiling wryly.

_Then again, I always think her beautiful, so this is hardly new. As lovely as the view is however, it is winter and she should be better covered._

Walking back toward the bed, he tentatively manoeuvred the blanket so that she was now entirely under it. Satisfied, he checked the time. One of them was supposed to drop by the Shoten every morning to check if any further orders had come through and, while today was technically Neliel's turn, he was hesitant to wake her when he was already dressed and could easily do it himself. Besides, he couldn't help but think that, since they had both been up for a large portion of the night, she at least could sleep in. Better yet, if there were no additional orders and things continued to stay as quiet as they had been, they could have the whole day to themselves… Yes, he rather liked this plan. Strapping Murcielago to his side, he went back once more to the bed, leaning forward to brush a gentle kiss to her temple and breathe in her scent. Reluctantly he stood up once more and strode toward the window, disappearing in a burst of sonido.

xXx

Nel was not a morning person unless coffee was involved. To say that she woke up slowly would be roughly the equivalent of saying that Kenpachi loved indiscriminate violence – it was a simple and undeniable truth. Today was no exception, as she slowly drifted in and out of consciousness, remembering what happened the night before and smiling to herself as she reached out for Ulquiorra.

Who wasn't there.

Still fairly groggy, Nel's eyes sprang open as she stared at the all too empty expanse of bed next to her.

_Oh no. No. This can't be happening._

Sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she cast her senses out to see if she could feel his presence in the house.

_Maybe it's not what you think. I mean, he could be making breakfast. Someone has to, and he knows if it was left to me we'd be existing on ramen and those pop tart things he refuses to eat. Or maybe…_

_He's just not here._

She wouldn't have called herself an expert on male behaviour, but she'd read enough of the copies of Cosmopolitan that Ran smuggled into the Seireitei to know one fairly basic fact. Waking up in an empty bed after sex meant that the other party considered it a mistake, which meant in turn that Ulquiorra thought last night was –

_Don't think about it. If I think about it, I'll cry. I'm a big girl, with a big fucking surname to match. I can handle this. We'll both call it a mistake, we can acknowledge that and move past it and continue to work as a captain and lieutenant and I'll just forget how much it meant to me. _

_Oh Kami, I really want to cry. _

As tempting as it was to lie back down and have a minor breakdown, the last place she wanted to be was in a bed that still smelt of him. Finding her clothes and dressing swiftly, she left her bedroom to find her gigai, which was still on the couch where she had left it last night.

_Don't think about last night either. Just focus on… Coffee. That's it. Everything is better with coffee. Coffee doesn't make you think your feelings are mutual and that you have a chance with it only to ditch you the morning after. _

_I'm fucking pathetic. _

She switched the coffee machine on, wiping away tears she refused to believe she was crying as they trickled down her cheeks. It was almost a relief when her communicator started to beep, indicating the presence of a hollow. With a last sniff, she picked up Gamuza.

_Fuck it. I need to go kill something or… just do something to take my mind off this. Off him. I need some sort of emotional outlet before he sits me down to have the 'I'm sure we can get over this and continue to work together productively' talk. I can scream, cry and beat the crap out of whatever class of hollow this is and then I'll be calm. It might even stop hurting so fucking much. _

_Who am I kidding? Better living through denial, that's me. _

Taking a deep breath and fighting to stop it turning into a sob, she strapped Gamuza to her waist and disappeared.

xXx

Ulquiorra was ready to leave the Shoten by the time he was alerted to the presence of a hollow nearby, and could instantly feel when Neliel left their apartment to chase it down. He was disappointed that she hadn't gotten to sleep in despite his efforts, but something else was bothering him about the reiatsu he felt, though he couldn't quite place it.

"Does this hollow feel… odd to you?"

Jinta looked up from the porch he was sweeping. "Not really", he replied with a shrug, "they all feel odd. They're all a 'disturbance in the force'."

Ulquiorra smiled slightly in reply. "Nel taught you that one?"

Jinta grinned back. "Nah, seen the film. Still, she hit the nail on the head – that's exactly how they feel to anyone with a bit of spiritual awareness."

"Hmmm." Ulquiorra stared off into the distance. He could sense that the two spiritual pressures – Neliel's and the hollow's – had now collided and were doing battle. It should be fairly one-sided, and yet –

"Actually, I can feel what you mean." Ururu's soft voice piped up from just inside the shop where she was arranging the merchandise. She trotted out now to join them on the front step. "It is a little odd. I think I've felt something similar before, though."

Jinta snorted. "The hell you'd know. It's nothing, just a small fry hollow. Nel won't even have to release her zanpakto."

Before the war Ururu might have quailed at this, but not so now. "Well, I am better at sensing these sort of things, so in fact – yes, I would know. Stick to what you can grasp Jinta, and keep sweeping."

Pointing the broom at her, he warned, "I'm not afraid not use it, you know."

With a smile and a shake of her head she walked past him to join Ulquiorra as he gazed out in the direction of the fight, a small frown on his face. Softly she added, "It reminds me of a captain's reiatsu when they're hiding. It feels suppressed."

Turning to her, Ulquiorra's frown deepened. "They would have to have a fairly impressive reiatsu to need to hide it. It's also very difficult to conceal your true power, thus making whoever is capable of doing so a fairly powerful creature. These are hardly the traits of the average hollow."

Suddenly, it was as if the spiritual world had shifted. The reiatsu that had felt so strange before was gone, and in its place was one that felt slightly similar, only infinitely more powerful. Ulquiorra's eyes widened.

_I have felt something like this before, in Hueco Mundo…_

Beside him, Ururu looked ready to spring into action. "Well Ulquiorra-san, they might not be the traits of your average hollow, but I'd say that fits your average vasto lorde." She turned to him but he was already gone. "Well then, at least she'll have back up. Jinta, time to contact the Fourth. Nothing that involves a vasto lorde ever ends well."

xXx

Cold fear and panic seemed to smother Ulquiorra as he used sonido as fast as he possibly could, leaping across the rooftops.

_I know she's strong, and I know that she is more than capable in most situations, but this creature is just as powerful as she is, and possibly more so. She should not face this alone. She cannot. _

_I can't let anything happen to her. I won't. _

Blind to everything else, he followed the trail of her spiritual pressure, his heart beating erratically as he felt her release her zanpakto.

xXx

There was a time to recognise that you were in deep shit and this, Nel knew, was it. It had seemed so simple when the fight began, a captain of the Gotei 13 against a typical hollow, until it had abruptly transformed into the very creature that she and Ulquiorra had remained behind to search for.

_Damn it, don't think of him. I'm getting my ass handed to me as it is, I don't need to be distracted._

_Though it sure would be nice if someone came along to help right about now._

Dodging yet another cero blast from her opponent Nel galloped down a deserted street, grateful from the stability that the four feet of her release form gave her.

_Bad enough I'm getting my ass handed to me without falling on it as well._

She knew she was screwed. She'd thrown everything she had at this thing and it'd had taken it all. Sure, it was moving a little slower, and limping thanks to the muscle she had tried to sever in its leg, but the long sharp spikes that extended from its armshad left their marks on her too, and she was far weaker for it. Turning to face it once more, she swallowed the next cero it threw, before returning fire.

_And then some. See if the bastard likes that. _

The vasto lorde dodged, but not before her cero doble had scorched off a portion of the masked face and one of the dangerously spiked arms. Its eyes narrowed as it spoke. "You will pay for that, little captainess. A traitor to your own kind, that is all you are. There is nothing more disgusting."

"Actually, I'd say the charred flesh smell your face is giving off right about now is worse, but that could just be me." Sometimes, Nel decided, it was worth having the last word. Especially when it could be _your_ last word.

With a snarl it launched itself at her, slashing the air between them with the jagged bones that grew from its arms. Leaping forward herself, Nel blocked them with Gamuza, slashing back and scoring a line on the being across its torso. All of a sudden, she could feel the approach of a familiar spiritual presence.

_Help at last. Shame he wants nothing to do with me. _

Sensing her distraction, the vasto lorde struck, slashing the spikes across her stomach as it threw her into the wall of the nearest building. The world went black briefly for Nel as she felt herself slip out of release form, until she struggled back to her feet, only to see her zanpakto in the grasp of her enemy.

_Oh Kami. This is it. I didn't want to go out this way. I was kind of hoping to retire and die in my sleep a few thousand years from now. Then again, I was kind of hoping for something to come of sleeping with Ulquiorra. At least I got to do that. I guess this way no one gets burdened by feelings…_

_Still, I'd like to see him again. Just once. _

Hatred apparent on its face, the vasto lorde walked toward her, her own blade aimed at her chest. "Tell me, little traitoress, why? Why abandon your own kind and join with that scum?"

_Last words, so make them good._

Defiance in her face, Nel lifted her head to stare down her opponent, before smiling wryly.

"What can I say? They have better dental."

She closed her eyes and waited for the killing blow.

It didn't come. Something warm, wet and smelling like blood dripped onto her face. She opened her eyes to find Gamuza speared through a very familiar someone who had managed to get between her and her imminent death.

"Ulquiorra…" She whispered, horrified as his blood trickled onto the pavement.

Fury seemed to radiate from him as he drew Murcielago from its sheath with one hand, the other locked on the vasto lorde's own arm as it thrust Gamuza through his stomach. So quickly that she almost missed it, he severed the arm holding the sword that had impaled him and pulled the weapon out of his body, only to stab it back through the vasto lorde as the creature howled in agony. His voice harsh, he ground out through the pain, "You really shouldn't have hurt her." The vasto lorde's eyes barely had time to widen in shock before Ulquiorra swung Murcielago in an arc and decapitated it smoothly, leaving it to disintegrate as he fell to his knees.

With a gasp, Nel scrambled up onto her feet properly and caught him before his head hit the ground, examining his wound as she placed him considerably more gently on the pavement. She swore as the tears that had threatened to fall all morning started to trickle down her cheeks.

"Shit. You idiot, I can't heal this. I can't - " She choked off with a sob as she slid off her captain's haori to stem the blood flow.

"It's alright. I do heal myself, if given time." He stared at his stomach as it continued to spurt blood unrelentingly. "On the other hand, there are a few vital organs in my stomach and that could present a problem." He was starting to feel weak, which was not a sensation he enjoyed. It was as though someone had hit a dimmer switch and the world was fading out. "Never mind, Jinta and Ururu were calling the Fourth when I left. It shouldn't be long." She was still crying though, and he hated seeing it. It might be gratifying to know that she obviously cared for him on some level, but not if it caused her pain. He wanted to explain this, but everything was just so damn hard. He could barely keep his eyes open as he watched Neliel frantically try to stop him bleeding. If he tried, he could feel the spiritual pressure of the captain of the Fourth approach, but it was getting more and more difficult. Neliel was muttering about things being her fault, and he had no intention of letting her take all the blame. He had just panicked, seeing her with her own zanpakto poised to kill her, and had done the most basic thing he could to stop it. He needed to tell her this, she was just the type to beat herself up about it unless he explained that he was equally at fault.

But he didn't. All he had the strength to do was lie there and bleed as he whispered the last few words that were in his head before darkness claimed him.

"It was worth it… Neliel."

xXx

**My God, I'm evil. Tehehe. Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say reviews make me write faster, but they are awful encouraging… hintcoughhint.**


	16. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Ok, this is just silly. Tite Kubo owns Bleach. He would have no earthly need to write fan fiction, since whatever he writes is canon by definition. I, on the other hand, am writing fan fiction since… wait for it… I don't own Bleach! Wow, shocked y'all, I know.**

**Listening to: Feist – 'Honey, Honey' and 'I Feel It All'.**

Chapter 15

Rangiku Matsumoto was not a woman who liked to run. For one thing, it was far more effort than she was willing to expend on anything. Her days were exhausting enough, full of avoiding paperwork, arranging new hiding places for her office sake (not to be confused with her home sake), drinking the aforementioned sake, avoiding paperwork, teasing her captain, planning drinking nights out with various friendship groups, avoiding paperwork and, most importantly, avoiding paperwork. Just thinking about it was making her feel tired. It also didn't help that the very act of her running tended to distract every straight man and a couple of women from what they were doing. There was quite a bounce factor involved to say the least, to the point where it was considered a miracle that she hadn't knocked herself out yet. However, when you received a hell butterfly from the Fourth telling you that one of your closest friends and her lieutenant had been brought in from the living world injured, you got your ass moving, and that was that.

Still, it would have been nice if she could've just covered the whole distance in a single flash step. Or, at the very least, it would have been less jiggly.

The Fourth looked like a mad house when she arrived, as it appeared that Kenpachi had also been putting the Eleventh through a 'training exercise' (aka. rigorous beating/bitter fight to the death). Still, despite the carnage and chaos, she was able to pick out two familiar figures in the waiting room. It helped that one of them had bright blue hair and was at least six feet tall, while the other one was only a couple of inches shorter and lacked the ability to sit still. She walked over to join them.

"So", Rangiku drawled as she slung her arms around Grimmjow and Maiko, trying to hide the concern she felt, "What brings you two miscreants here?"

With a grimace, the former Espada replied, "The same thing that brought you I expect."

"Yeah." Maiko added. "Captain Unohana came out and told us that they'd both faced off against a vasto lorde and that Nel was fine, but she got called away before she could tell us 'bout Ulqui."

Grimmjow raised an eyebrow. "Does he know ya call him that?"

"I don't call him that to his face. I choose life." Maiko clarified.

"Still", Ran muttered, "with the Eleventh bleeding all over the carpet here, we're not going to get answers anytime soon. Who's up for a little exploring?"

Smirking, Grimmjow nodded. "Thought you'd never ask. Let's roll, ladies."

Offering an arm to both of them, which they took, the mischievous trio attempted to walk off inconspicuously.

xXx

**Fifteen minutes later…**

"This blows. We're lost. Grimmjow, you are no longer leader of this expedition."

"Maiko, I ain't leading fuck all. _You_ said we should go left."

"I meant my other left."

"Oh." Rangiku added dryly. "Of course. Silly of us not to realise. Maybe I should be leader."

"HELL NO!" As one, Grimmjow and Maiko turned around to stare her down.

"Fine. No mutiny from me."

"Is this mutiny?" Maiko looked a little confused. "Technically I should defer to you two, but who do you two defer to?"

"Well", Ran began, "I am senior here."

"Yeah, but being leader involves effort", Grimmjow pointed out.

"Well, I'm out then."

"That leaves Grimmjow", Maiko was all too eager to point out. "Who clearly has missed Ulquiorra so much that he can't wait to lead us to his door."

"Fuck y'all and your attempts at reverse psychology", Grimmjow muttered. "Look, let's just - "

They were cut off as one of the doors opened and Lieutenant Isane Kotetsu stepped out into the hall, her eyebrows raised as she stared at the three of them. "You do know that you're all supposed to wait in the waiting room. We didn't just name it that because we felt like it."

Maiko and Grimmjow pointed to Rangiku. "She's the senior lieutenant."

"Oh, so _now_ I'm the leader?"

Isane held up a hand. "Look, I don't really care. Just keep it down, the captain has enough to deal with right now."

Maiko looked thoughtful. "There have been a lot of Eleventh Division visits lately, haven't there?"

Isane rolled her eyes. "Tell me about it. Worst part is, I think it's just so that Captain Zaraki has an excuse to drop by. He and Captain Unohana have been rather friendly of late."

Ran looked smug. "Define friendly."

The healer looked slightly nauseated. "I walked in on them in an exam room. I needed mind soap."

"Ha! I knew there was something going on there! They do make a cute couple."

"Yeah. Still need the mind soap though. I take it you're here for Nel and Ulquiorra?"

"Yep. What the hell happened?" Grimmjow scowled.

With a sigh, Isane flipped through the folder she carried. "Well, Nel has only bruising and some fairly clean cuts. A couple were alarmingly deep, but all in all she was ok. Ulquiorra is a more worrying."

"What? The little shit heals, he should be fine."

"The body can only heal so much, Grimmjow, even with regenerative powers like his. It appears that after disarming Nel, the vasto lorde ran him through with her sword. Several vital organs were damaged and he lost quite a bit of blood. On the other hand, he still managed to kill the vasto lorde."

"Damn." Maiko whistled. "Where'd he learn to be bad-ass like that?"

With a smug smile on his face, Grimmjow replied, "Well, he does hang around me. I had to rub off on him sometime."

The three women looked at him in disbelief. He winced. "You could at least pretend to go along with it! Shit, that's a blow to the ego."

"You'll live", Isane drawled motioning to the door she had just emerged from. "Anyway, they're both in there. Nel is fine and discharged, but she's stayed with him. Ulquiorra is all healed and should be awake sometime soon."

With a nod, she strode off in the direction of the screams of Eleventh Division officers.

xXx

Nel had sat by his side, holding his hand for the last four hours and still wasn't quite sure what the fuck was going on. Somehow she had gone from having sex with her lieutenant to sitting by his hospital bed and getting her heart broken along the way, all of which had been accomplished in less than twenty-four hours, and her head was still spinning as she tried to take all of it in.

_I need to go home and sleep on it. Or just go. I can never think straight when he's there. Especially when I'm trying to think about him._

With a sigh, she placed both her hands over his.

_Fuck, I'm just confused. On the one hand, he cares enough about me to give up his life for mine. On the other hand though, he doesn't care enough to attempt a post-sex explanation and just leaves me there. I just don't get it._

_I should hate it that he ties me up in knots like this, but I can't. I can't hate him. Somewhere along the line, I ended up in love with him. _

One of hands still entwined with his, she leaned forward to stroke his hair back from his face and let her fingers trail down the side of his face.

_I am such a fucking idiot. But I don't care. _

_I love him._

_Kami, this hurts._

The door, which had remained closed after Lieutenant Kotetsu left, suddenly opened to reveal three very familiar faces. She greeted them with a tired smile as she dropped Ulquiorra's hand like it had burned her.

"Hey."

Instantly she was enveloped into a hug from Rangiku. "Hey gorgeous. You haven't been crying, have you?"

Rubbing tearstains off her cheeks, Nel conjured a tentative grin. "I'm fine. Really. It's just been quite a day."

Ran let go and stood back. "Well, you both came out of it alive, and offed yourselves a vasto lorde. Been awful busy in the living world, huh?"

Nel winced and any remnants of a smile fled her face. "It's been fine."

Grimmjow looked askance at her. "Yeah, clearly. Ya just reekin' of the fine there. This being fine thing wouldn't have anything to do with the way you changed ya mind 'bout holding Ulquiorra's hand when we showed up, would it?"

For a brief second Nel thought she was going to fall to pieces. She broke contact with that fierce, bright blue gaze, stared at her feet and drew a shuddering breath, looking back up to glare at Grimmjow.

"I don't want to talk about it." Her tone was firm and brooked no denial.

Maiko's gaze flicked between the two. "Grimm, she's using her captain-voice, I think – "

"Wait." Rangiku was now looking far more closely at Nel. "Something happened in the living world?"

Gritting her teeth, Nel responded. "It was nothing. I'm fine and I don't want to talk about it."

"Really?" Grimmjow was persistent, if nothing else. "'Coz you sure don't look it. Fine, that is."

"Ok", Maiko pointed out, "now ain't exactly the ideal time for this little shindig – "

"No, I think it's a great – "

Whatever Grimmjow had been about to add to the conversation was abruptly cut off.

"Why in Hueco Mundo is Grimmjow one of the first people I get to see upon reawakening?"

They all turned to see a rather weary looking Ulquiorra staring at them bemusedly, smiling as he turned to lock eyes with Neliel. She reacted almost instantaneously, leaping from her chair and striding toward the door, muttering something about fetching Isane and tossing a casual goodbye over her shoulder. The others watched her go with expressions of varying levels of confusion on their faces. Ulquiorra, on the other hand, just looked shocked as he stared at the door she had just walked through.

_What the hell just happened? She looked… hurt. I don't understand, and I want to understand, damn it! Neliel wouldn't just walk away like that, not from an injured subordinate, and I thought I was a damn side more than just a subordinate, too._

_Unless… She wanted to get away from me. It could easily be that she regrets everything and doesn't want to face me._

_Don't think about it. Focus on something else. Anything else._

He looked up at the three shinigami who were gazing at him as though expecting an answer. He shrugged before announcing loudly, but not entirely truthfully, "Your guess is as good as mine. You should probably go check on her"

As they traded glances and left the room on her trail, he breathed a sigh as he let sleep reclaim him.

_Just don't think about it and it won't hurt. I can do that._

_Right?_

xXx

This, Grimmjow decided, was just fucking ridiculous.

It was two weeks after Nel and his former arch-nemesis (calling the guy a friend still felt seriously wrong) had come back from the living world, and ten days since Ulquiorra had been discharged from the Fourth and they were still avoiding each other like most people avoided Kenpachi. At least now he knew why. It had taken picking a lot of fights with Ulquiorra and doing everything to get under the guy's skin in order to get some information out of him, but he'd managed to get a vague idea of what happened. He'd also managed to break several ribs, lose a few pints of blood and have his arm almost ripped off (fortunately not all at once), but that was not the point.

When he put the information he had gathered together with what Maiko and Ran had learned from a drunk Nel (why they had the freaken easy interrogation was beyond him), the three of them had managed to get the full story and the stunning conclusion that Ulquiorra and Nel were complete fuck wits. At least, when it came to each other. The only problem was explaining it to them. Neither party was willing to talk about it (the partially severed arm had been a direct result of Grimmjow's one attempt to do so) and now the three conspirators were trying to help them both see the obvious.

They were perfect for each other. Seriously, it was fucking nauseating as far as he was concerned, but whatever. And if he had to spend any more time with the new, even more silent and emo Ulquiorra, he was going to cero everything in sight and then some. He was sick of seeing the guy look so damn hurt every time she was mentioned. This colossal fuck up needed to be fixed, and fast.

Not that he gave a crap about Ulquiorra, or anything. It was a matter of principle.

Nel was suffering too. They were both spending all their spare time avoiding each other and moping. Ulquiorra looked like he hadn't slept in days, Nel barely seemed to have eaten, and Grimmjow wanted to smack their heads together.

This much was clear – something had to give, and soon.

Of course, what that something was still eluded him. If Maiko or Ran asked, he was working on it.

xXx

Maiko couldn't help but think that this was all just a bit ridiculous. It was now three weeks into the Ulqui-Nel standoff (as she was calling it), and she was starting to regret agreeing to Ran's idea to 'let them try to sort it out themselves'.

_After all, how the fuck can they sort it out themselves when they go pale at the sight of each other and refuse to spend time in the same room? It makes it kinda difficult._

_You know, just a little. _

_Kami, I can understand why Grimmjow wants to smack both their heads together. He doesn't even have to spend all day in the office acting as their go-between. _

_This freaken blows. To hell with it, Ran and her 'sorting it out themselves' plan ain't gonna happen. It's time for trained experts to interfere._

_Or, failing that, Grimm, Ran and myself._

xXx

It was the part of the month Nel had been dreading, but there was no avoiding it. Budget day was upon them, the one time she would absolutely have to spend the day with her lieutenant since her ability with numbers was pretty much nonexistent. Sure, she could have gotten Maiko to help her, but it still needed to be gone over and signed by Ulquiorra. Besides, it was about time to start working with him again. Surely the awkwardness and pain would have subsided by now, even if only a little, and things needed to get back on track.

At least, that was what she had told herself before she walked into their office and saw him at his desk, resolutely staring at the documents lying there.

_Oh shit. It's just not fair, the way it still damn well hurts. No, I can do this. I can be his indifferent captain. It'll hurt but I'll get there. Might as well start now. All right, I am indifferent. Unless it involves his job here in the division, I don't care, or need to hear it. I am friendly, but aloof. Here goes nothing._

_Kami he looks tired. I hope he's getting enough sleep and – _

_Oh, for fuck's sake. _

Fighting the urge to smack herself in the face, Nel strode toward her desk and sat down, her gaze firmly focused on the previous month's budget as she flicked through it, taking note of any unusual expenses. He continued to read, only acknowledging her presence with a small nod in her direction. This continued on until there was a knock at door, swiftly followed by a wry voice, proclaiming, "Seventh division official intermediary reporting for duty. Unfortunately due to a photocopying fault, I only have one copy of the files you both asked for, which means you have to share which, in turn, means you must interact."

"Maiko." Ulquiorra looked annoyed, to say the least.

"Sorry, take it up with the tech guys, not me. They're trying to fix it now. Apparently a person or persons unknown filled an ink cartridge with sake." Maiko's innocence was more than a little unconvincing. "In the mean time you have to work together, which will be nice for me since I hate seeing Mummy and Daddy fighting."

"We're not fighting", Ulquiorra and Nel replied at once, stopping and staring at each other when they realised that they had spoken in unison. They immediately looked away.

Disbelief spread across Maiko's features. "Uh huh, sure you're not. I don't know what's worse – the fact that you're both clearly in denial, or the fact that you just answered to Mummy and Daddy. I'm going to take my lunch break now and go be disturbed by all off this somewhere else. Play nice, y'all."

She flashed out of the room, leaving them both to stare awkwardly at their work.

xXx

On the other side of the Seireitei, deep underground in the Second division offices, Grimmjow felt his communicator vibrate as he received a message. He slipped it out of his pocket and glanced at it, a grin spreading over his face. He looked around.

_Well, seeing as the ninja bitch ain't here right now, I guess I could slip off for a while. Things to do an' all that. _

Re-reading the message, he slunk out of the office.

_Oh yeah, time to rock and roll. This'll be good._

xXx

In the offices of the Tenth, Rangiku blearily lifted her head from the pile of paperwork she was supposed to be completing to check her communicator, which she fished out of her cleavage, eyes snapping open as she eagerly read the message. Grabbing two bottles of sake for the road, she left a note for her captain before flashing out.

_I'm sure Toushiro won't mind._

_Much._

xXx

Ulquiorra was getting sick of feelings. As far as he was concerned, he'd been much better off before they had stalked into his life and started messing with his head. The same could be said for Grimmjow, now that he thought about it, and probably should have been said about Neliel and, yet, he found that he couldn't really regret anything when it came to her. He could wish all he liked that he knew (and could fix) why she had abruptly distanced herself from him, but seeing as that wasn't going to happen, at least he could console himself with the memories.

Still, it was hard to sit across from her in this office and pretend he didn't care that she wasn't talking to him unless she absolutely had to. His musings were cut short by the sight of three familiar, but alarming figures standing in the doorway. He cleared his throat, and Neliel looked up from her desk to take in the sight they made, a look of concern clear on her face. It was never good to see Grimmjow, Rangiku and Maiko together at the best of times, but the unholy grins spread across each of their faces were enough to send shivers down his spine. A sly grin on her face, Maiko reached forward to grasp the door handle, before pausing dramatically to hold up a key.

Ulquiorra's eyes widened as he recognised the key to the office.

_But surely Neliel should have that._

Clearly she'd had the same thought, as his captain now searched her pockets and then froze, her eyes narrowing at the three of them. "Oh, hell no."

In a move so fast that she must have used flash, Maiko closed the door and turned the key in the lock a mere instant before Neliel reached it and desperately grappled with the handle, yelling all the while.

"Kami, damn it! You lot, if you open this door now, I will be merciful. I may just leave you with a bone or two intact. Maiko, I can dishonourably discharge you if you don't open this door instantly, so help me - "

"Sorry Nel", Ran's voice rang out, "but you both need to sit through this."

"Sit through what?" Nel may be too busy fuming, but right now Ulquiorra was just curious.

"Your intervention." Grimmjow sounded too smug to be healthy.

"But I don't drink." This was just confusing as far as Ulquiorra was concerned. It was also less than enjoyable to see how little Nel liked being in a room with him.

"Not that kind of intervention, Ulquiorra", Maiko clarified, "we're interfering in your relationship, such as it is. Don't get us wrong, we take no pleasure in this. Well, maybe Grimmjow does a little, but that's his business and - ow Grimmjow, that hurt! Anyway, the point is, you've both been morons and we're here to clarify a few things."

"Ok, now I'm really mad." Nel looked ready to cero the door. "This is pointless, just let me out." _I'm just fine with inferring that he's not interested from the obvious evidence, I don't need to hear it from him. _

"No." Ran was firm about this. "Look, we all know what happened in the living world." There was a very awkward pause from the other side of the door. "Yeah, as in all of it, and you both need to have a couple of things pointed out to you."

"You first, Ulquiorra." Grimmjow still sounded far too gleeful. "You've been gazing longingly at Nel for what? Six months now?"

Nel whipped around to stare at Ulquiorra who was now very interested in the floor and turning an interesting shade of red.

Grimmjow continued. "Now, you being the usually emotionless little shit you are, five months of that was spent freaking out that you actually had feelings, but during the rest, did it ever occur to you to – oh, I don't know – tell her how you felt? Hint at it, maybe? Especially post-coitus? Yes? No? Maybe? Lobster? You were capable of admitting it after about a dozen shots, but did you ever think you should be able to do that sober too? Well, since you can't, I'm doing it for you. Nel, the fuck wit standing next to you, who is, no doubt, unable to look you in the face right now, loves you. It's enough to make anyone sick, really, the way he stares after you and mopes around. It's driving me fucking crazy as it is."

"You don't have to spend all day in the office with them." Maiko may have been muttering, but it still came through the door fairly clearly.

"Not the point", Ran cut in. "My turn. Ok, Nel. Cosmo is an excellent magazine - "

"And an excellent drink!"

"Maiko, you alcoholic, you."

"Stage _my_ intervention later, Grimmjow. Keep going Ran, I won't interrupt again."

"Somehow I doubt that." Ran sighed. "Anyway, the point is that Cosmo works in the living world on living world guys and, even then, isn't gospel. So while having sex with someone and waking up to an empty bed usually means you've been rejected - "

Ulquiorra started at this, his eyes wide.

" - you _were_ with Ulquiorra who, no offence, isn't known for his social mores and knowledge of sexual etiquette. Or any etiquette, come to think of it. He probably thought he was doing you a favour or giving you space or some shit like that. Anyway, so he's an emotional retard and didn't tell you how he felt. What's your excuse?"

"He's not an emotional retard!" Nel yelled back, before turning to look shyly at Ulquiorra, who was regarding her with the tiniest smile on his face. "Uh, well, you aren't."

His lips twitched. "Thank you, Neliel."

"You didn't answer the question, Nel."

"Damn you Ran. There are policies about intra-division dating."

Maiko snorted. "Two words hun – Eighth Division. I don't see anyone reprimanding Shunsui and Nanao, do you? Face it, you're both chicken." She paused to consider this. "Idiot chickens that jump to conclusions and leave their friends to sort it out for them."

"Are you trying to get fired?" Ulquiorra actually sounded amused. Maiko was going to take this as a good sign.

"You'll both thank us later. Anyway, we're done. We'll slip the key under the door and you can let yourselves out once you've talked things through. Have fun."

The sounds of laughter and footsteps faded away as Nel and Ulquiorra stared at each other, minds racing. Nel took a deep breath and spoke first.

"So, we're both idiots.

Ulquiorra smiled and took a step toward her. "So it would seem. At least I'm in good company."

She raised an eyebrow. "So I'm good company now?"

Ulquiorra's brow furrowed as he walked up to her, his hand tentatively going up to her cheek. "Neliel, I'm so sorry, I had no idea, I - "

She turned her head so that her lips grazed his palm. "Yeah, that much is obvious. Neither did I, so I'm sorry for the conclusion jumping." She smiled up at him, her eyes full of mischief. "So, apparently you're in love with me."

He smiled back. "Grimmjow may be an idiot on a fairly regular basis, but every now and then he gets it absolutely right."

Her arms came up to sit on his shoulders and then reached back to rest on the back of his neck. "Good to know that it's mutual, then." His eyes widened as she stretched up to kiss him softly and unbearably slowly.

He broke away to stare at her. "Say it."

She smiled, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair where it wasn't covered by the mask. "I love you."

He pulled her to him and their lips met again, with less finesse this time and more passion. Nel broke away this time and raised an eyebrow. Ulquiorra raised one right back and smirked. "My turn is it? Very well." He leaned forward and kissed her jaw, right near her ear and whispered, "I love you, Neliel." She shivered and he drew back smiling.

"You never really wanted me to call you Nel, did you?"

She shook her head. "Everyone calls me Nel. You're different. It may have escaped your notice, but I rather like that."

He kissed her again, harder, before pulling away. "Fair enough."

Nel smiled wickedly and drew away. "Now, I'm pretty sure we have a budget to work through."

He gave up on trying to think and just said the first thing that came to him. "Fuck the budget."

Neliel laughed. "Wait, do I have competition?"

He growled and pulled her against him once more. "Not in a million years. Still, I think the budget can wait."

"Well", Nel replied breathlessly as he leaned in to kiss her once more, "when you put it that way…"

xXx

**Oh God, I'm sorry it took forever. The 'yes/no/maybe/lobster line is from Avatar: The Abridged Series. What can I say? I love my abridged series. This was a beast of a chapter to write, though. Anyway, one more…**


	17. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: No. Just no, k?**

**Listening to: Iron and Wine – 'Such Great Heights'.**

_Ulquiorra opened his eyes. The room was bright, sun shining through the open window. He shifted and froze when he felt the arm draped across his stomach. Turning to find its owner, he saw a dishevelled and sleepy Neliel, who appeared to only be wearing the blanket, open her eyes and smile drowsily at him, before leaning over to thread the fingers on her other arm through the hair not covered by his mask._

_That was the point he forgot to breathe._

_She put her lips to his ear and whispered in her sweet, lilting voice, "Good morning, Ulquiorra." His eyes closed, and he felt those warm, too-soft lips delicately brush his cheek._

"_Neliel."_

Only, this time, he didn't wake up. He was already very awake, thank you very much and profoundly grateful, as he turned his head to capture Nel's lips in a kiss. She drew back and grinned.

"Mmm, it is a good morning."

He smiled and pulled her closer. "Indeed. So, what do we have planned for today?"

She looked a little sheepish. "We really should attempt the budget, at least. We kinda left it on the floor somewhere yesterday. I have a sneaking suspicion that Maiko will kill us for the all the paper strewn around the office."

"I wanted to put you on the desk, it was in the way", he murmured, kissing her again when she smiled. "Besides", he added when they broke apart, "that will hopefully teach her not to lock her superiors in their office."

Nel raised an eyebrow. "Even if it's for a good cause?"

"I suppose. I also suppose it's time to get up."

"Not necessarily." Nel grinned. "Technically you're only late if you arrive after your captain."

A smirk crept across his face. "Really? I suppose I'll just have to keep you here until I'm ready to go. Any ideas on how I could do that, Neliel?"

"Oh, I've got a few."

"Well then, I defer to my captain and her superior strategy."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

xXx

**And it's over! My baby is all grown up, whatever shall I do? **

**Well, write more. Duh. I should have a new one up soon, featuring the disturbing matchmaking team that is Grimm, Ran and Maiko and a very hapless Renji. **

**What could possibly go wrong? Yeah… Oh dear.**

**Anyway, thanks to all who read and reviewed, it's been great to hear from you! **


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